They say that you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince, right? In the world we live in, it almost seems impossible to find anyone who disagrees with this statement. Listed below are some ways in which we can weed out the frogs without having to give it all away. Whether you and your man are as happy as ever or you’re “single as a dolla bill”, hopefully you will find these tips helpful.
*Disclaimer*, I am no relationship expert, just an average girl with some high expectations who is not willing to settle for anything less; bringing me to my first tip:
1) Make a List and Check it Twice
Most people nowadays will say that having a list of qualifications for your potential mate is a recipe for disaster. To a certain extent, this can be true. If items on your list for Mr. Right include things such as “has to be able to play guitar” or “has to have blue eyes,” then YES, you, my friend, are going to end up thoroughly disappointed. However, there’s nothing wrong for not wanting to have a relationship with someone unless they’re honest, caring, a family man, or have a strong relationship with Christ. After all, “Bae ain’t bae if bae don’t pray.” ;)
2) Don’t Set a Time Limit on Love
Towards the end of our college career, many girls will begin to panic at the thought of not being ready for marriage. I know for me, I used to always say that I wanted to be married by 23. Now that I’m 20, I can’t imagine being married in three years. The worst thing we can do when it comes to relationships is to give ourselves a timeline. Life does not work on our time and as cliché as it sounds, the best things in life sneak up when we least expect it.
3) Know Your Self Worth
I cannot stress this enough. It saddens me so much when I see other girls my age that could care less about themselves. They allow themselves to be used time and time again. Even though there are many less than stellar guys out there, there’s a lot of great ones too, they’re just a lot harder to find sometimes. If girls can just realize that they are worth so much more, then they wouldn’t feel the need to hookup with every male over the age of 18 with a beating heart, bringing me to my next point.
4) Hookups are NOT the way to go
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve never heard of a one-night stand turning into a long lasting, fulfilling relationship. One thing that really disturbs me about our society today is that casual hookups in college are considered “normal,” “fun,” and just a part of the “college experience.” I know for a fact that just because something is “fun” does not mean that it isn’t self-destructive. In a day and age when feminism and empowerment for women is so prominent, why is society still telling girls that casual hook ups are fun and totally okay? I’m willing to bet that after those kinds of hookups, girls are feeling the exact opposite of confident and empowered. I believe that we need to do our next generation of college girls a favor and set the example that we do not need to engage casual hookups as independent, strong, confident women.
5) Go into a Relationship Thinking about the Future
Now this doesn’t mean that you need to ask a guy on the first date if he wants a spring wedding or how he feels about the name “Sparrow” for your first-born. Dating with the intention of marriage is how dating was originally intended. It may sound old fashioned, especially with how the marriage and dating culture has changed so much over the years. The point of dating is to see who you will be compatible with in the future and create a life with. It is not to use a person and see what they can give you and what you can get out of the relationship. I find that this is something that a lot of people forget but it really is so important.
I hope that these tips have given you something to think about. Never forget that you never, ever, ever, (did I mention ever?) have to settle. Stay true to your values, love yourself, and be open to what God has in store for you.