At the University of Maryland, students attempt to define their relationship status in three words: “What are we?”
The question is often asked in a situationship, an undefined romantic relationship without transparency or the commitment of a serious partnership.
For most students, situationships have become an inevitable part of college dating, leaving them to question whether people genuinely prefer casual relationships or are simply scared of commitment.
“I think college students are definitely afraid of commitment, but I think people prefer situationships at this time because of how busy everybody is and how much other stuff they have going on,” said junior kinesiology major Maddie Matthews.
Matthews said her dating experiences at UMD have mainly involved situationships rather than a committed relationship, including a situationship that fizzled out over the summer before this fall semester.
Although busy schedules may be the reason for some people to pursue causal situations, others believe that fear of commitment is the larger issue.
Ngozi Onyegbule, a sophomore government and politics major, believes students avoid serious relationships because they are afraid of being emotionally vulnerable. She acknowledged experiencing the same hesitation herself.
“I’d say that a lot of people are afraid to commit to actual relationships, so they settle for situationships,” Onyegbule said. “But I don’t know, you can’t get anywhere if you don’t take risks.”
For Lalina Park-Francis, a freshman sociology major, the difficulty isn’t finding someone who’s interested, but in finding someone who wants the same type of relationship.
Park-Francis said she has found herself navigating the dating scene but without luck in terms of finding something long-term. “I feel like it’s pretty casual,” she said. “Everyone that I’ve kind of talked to isn’t really looking for anything serious.”
Park-Francis’ first situationship was brief and ended without progressing into a serious relationship, but she was not discouraged.
While Park-Francis still wants to date, Brooke Kramer, a junior psychology major, has stepped away.
“I haven’t pursued anything at this school since freshman year, mainly because I don’t really enjoy situationships or that dynamic,” Kramer said.
Kramer also said maturity and communication influence how students date. She recalled several times that guys would always resort to hanging out at their place rather than going out on a real date. She believes there is nothing wrong with wanting something casual, but problems arise when intentions aren’t made clear.
For students looking for committed relationships, the differences in expectations can make dating disappointing. What one person may view as a possible relationship, the other may see as nothing more than a fleeting experience. Without clear communication, students are finding themselves stuck in situationships that never develop.
These students’ experiences illustrate different perspectives towards dating. While busy schedules and personal choices may make situationships more appealing, others find themselves having to date casually despite wanting a serious relationship. Together, these experiences raise questions about whether traditional dating is becoming less common at UMD.