What are you supposed to do on those days where nothing you do is enough. It’s not enough for your teachers, your friends, or most terrifyingly yourself. We have all had those days where we wake up and nothing goes right. It’s a mistake after mistake after mistake. In pop culture, there is the popular notion that when something or someone is toxic to you and your progress you simply cut it/them out of your life, but what do we do when it’s us that’s acting toxic.
No one is telling me I need to lose weight except me. No one is telling me that I’m not smart enough except me. No one is telling me that I’m not enough to deserve love except me. No one is unaccepting me except me.
Except, that’s what I really need most. I need to sit down by myself and just think. When I let myself actually be me, all of my problems shrink down. Every negative thought I have about myself has stemmed from something someone else told me. Even if no one is saying it anymore, there are still tiny echos bouncing off the back of my mind that make their way up as daily reminders that in some moment long ago someone else couldn’t keep their mouth shut. You don’t always remember the person who made you change the way you looked at yourself back in middle school. What you do remember is that you have never looked at yourself the same.
