One of my biggest weaknesses is overthinking. In high school, I let minor setbacks completely overwhelm me. A B- on a test would lead to a night of emotionally draining and time-consuming conversation with my parents about how I thought I wasn’t going to get into college. A less-than-perfect volleyball practice sent me into a downward spiral about why I wasn’t a good enough player and teammate. In hindsight, I realize now how irrational I was being, but in the moment I was completely unable to control these repetitive thoughts. It took a lot to get to where I am now, but ultimately my evolution of thought has made me feel so much happier and so much more fulfilled with my life.
In August of 2018, I came to LMU with the intention of transferring somewhere else. This caused me to overcommit to myself and spend hours upon hours studying so that I would have the best transfer application ever. Still, minuscule problems consumed my thoughts and made me frustrated and less productive. I became more involved at LMU and I started to really enjoy my time here. I became content with who I was and what I was doing. I liked the direction my life was heading in, but I was not completely absolved of periodic panic attacks.
This past summer had a rocky start. I had to tie up the loose ends of an old relationship and figure out what the rest of summer was going to look like. After I got the mental clarity I’d been lacking for months, I realized my biggest problems were directly related to my inability to prioritize. From that point on, I began taking the problems I was having and looking at them in the “big scheme of things” perspective. For example, when I got back to school, I started encountering new conflicts with living off-campus and living with new roommates. On top of that, a leadership position that I accepted was revving up and my classes started to get busier and busier. This has easily been the most overextended I’ve ever been in my life, but I didn’t feel stressed. I would simply ask myself, “Will this matter in a week, a month, or a year?” From then on, it became so much easier to prioritize, devote my time to the most important tasks, and settle for less-than-perfect when necessary. Now, this ideology went against everything I’ve ever practiced. Throughout my entire life, I have been focused on being the best, so settling for being ordinary or average seemed to directly contradict my number one goal. However, that got me thinking, “Why do we want to be THE best when we can be OUR best?”
I think the concept of reputation is very important because it entails how the world perceives you. However, if you’re only concerned with what others think of you, then you cannot focus on what you think of yourself. This is, by no means, easy to achieve but it brings me back to the question “will it matter in a week, a month, or a year?” If your decisions will not have a significant impact on your life or someone else’s life in the long run, then your choice is not that impactful and you should choose what is easiest and makes you happiest. There is no point in pouring your energy into something unimportant. Always choose what makes you happiest and meet your deadlines, just so long as it does not hurt the people around you in the process.
A couple of weeks ago, I started participating in SFL football. While I have been more than excited to be a part of this, it has been very draining. Six A.M. practices on top of my already busy schedule have severely cut into my sleep time, but I realized that this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I had to say, for lack of a better term, “eff it” to sleep so that I could partake in something that makes me happy and ultimately betters me as a person. SFL football is part of the way I show my commitment to my organization and develop closer friendships with my sisterhood. I can make up the sleep on the weekends or drink an extra cup of coffee, but I cannot compensate for the memories made on Drollinger field.
By prioritizing what is most important in the long run, I have been able to eliminate much of the stress surrounding meager problems, become more fulfilled in what I am doing in the present, and devote myself more deeply to the relationships and organizations I care about. This personal journey took a long time and is by no means complete, but it has enabled me to juggle my busy schedule with ease. I encourage you to make similar advances toward being more intentional. Intention drives us to be fully invested and saves our energy for the things that are most important to us.