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9 Freshman Horror Stories Only LMU Students Will Understand

By Lauren Straub​

Picture this: It’s Day 1 of classes. You’re sleeping splendidly and… yikes! Your alarm doesn’t go off. Instead, you wake up to your roomie’s 7:45 a.m. alarm for your 8 a.m. class. You feel an instant spike in your cortisol levels… #stressed! You throw on some clothes, brush your teeth, and somehow manage to swipe on a bit of concealer before speed-walking to Malone, looking like a mess. Luckily, you make it with 5 minutes to spare.

That was my first day. A great omen for the start of the school year, right?

I’ve been a freshman twice now, so I’m no stranger to freshman horror stories. And apparently, neither are my peers. Here at sunny (and expansive) LMU, some are more prominent than others.

Two words: U Hall.

“I was too awkward to leave my class because the professor kept talking, so I ended up getting out of class at like 10:15. I have a 10:30

in Life Sciences, so I run the whole way and show up to class, but the door is locked. I knock and everyone stares at me as I walk in. I’m exhausted and completely drenched in sweat. I just gasp ‘U Hall’ and go sit down” -Gordon. Why do you think they call it U-Hall? Because you gotta haul ass to get anywhere on time!

Climbing through the window because you forgot your OneCard.

“I was here early for the CSSI program, and the first night after getting our dorm assignments, I left my OneCard in my room. I didn’t have a roommate yet so I climbed through the window and was like ‘Wait, where’s all my stuff?’ That’s when I realized that I’d climbed into the wrong dorm room.” -Elena.

Not knowing how to, well, eat.

“My first time in The Lair not only did I not know how to order, but after I got my half size portion of salmon, I proceeded to wander around for five minutes trying to figure out how to pay for my food. Once I finally got in line, I had no idea how Lion Dollars worked so I handed my OneCard to the lady like it was a debit card” -Jeremy.

 

Forgetting everyone’s names.

“My problem is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen and then end up having to ask multiple times in one day. My record is 3 times in a day” -Carter.

The struggle of finding your classes.

“By the time I got to the right building, I was 20 minutes late. I didn’t want to walk in awkwardly so late, so I stood outside and listened to the lecture from the shadows” -Rebecca. I mean, you do you, girl.

Birds. The electric kind.

“One girl I know forgot that those scooters were called Birds, so when someone commented on how many people use Birds on campus, she said ‘Yeah, that’s ‘cause there are a lot of trees’” -Aditi. Too bad they’re banned now. LMU saw us rollin, and they hated.

 

Getting packages for the first time.

“I didn’t know how to open my PO box and was too ashamed to ask for help, so I just left. I’ll figure it out later” -Riley. That moment when you realize you have to twist the locks left first instead of right. What’s up with that?

Um, this?

“One girl texted in the floor GroupMe that she found a lizard in her bed” -Emi.

 

Setting up your hammock. Falling out of it.

‘Nuff said.

 

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