The “burnt out gifted kid syndrome” is an expression that has been trending lately in our generation, and I keep seeing so many TikToks about it on my For You Page. Admittedly, this does say more about me than it does a widespread trend, but, as someone who deeply resonates with this concept, I wanted to explore it more. Why does it keep appearing on social media in the first place? Where does it come from? And what can we, former gifted kids turned part-time family disappointments, do about it?
If we were to define it in layman’s terms, most of the time this syndrome would show itself in so-called “gifted kids”, children who excelled in different academic and extracurricular areas, becoming burned out and exhausted way too fast as adults, ending up finding the social pressure to keep being extraordinary or above average draining. Above all, it is the feeling of constant external pressure – be it societal or familial – that makes our inner monologue a complete and never-ending nightmare. This feeling can overcome us in many different situations, from wanting to pursue a more creative or liberal arts degree but being expected to do something more “serious” or lucrative, to barely being able to enjoy new hobbies any longer, simply because you do not turn out to be a genius at them on the first try. Even though it might seem trivial, this is something that can lower our quality of life tremendously, simply because we are living for other people rather than for ourselves.
So, here comes a controversial question – Can embracing mediocrity make us happier?
And no, I am not suggesting giving up on your dreams and ambitions, and not trying hard at anything anymore. However, maybe we need to stop for a second, breathe, and find out where our internal motivations come from, and what it naturally goes into. Accepting that, sometimes, it is perfectly normal to just be okay, or even bad, at something, and that it won’t kill us to be mediocre at things that bring us joy, no matter how much external pressure we feel about it.
Recently, I started going to dance classes at university again after not dancing for around five years, and it has been a humbling and anxiety-inducing experience. Having to come to terms with the fact that I am very out of practice, especially because I started a new dance style, has not been easy, and I have been close to giving up on multiple occasions. But, since the environment is very low-pressure, and most people come to do it just for fun, I persevered and started to rediscover my love for it and the happiness it brings me. However, I have had many instances over the past few years where I gave up on new hobbies way too fast. The ukulele I bought when I was eighteen usually sits untouched in my room because, even though I enjoy it, I get frustrated when I can’t get things right fast enough. Similarly, I bought some crocheting materials earlier this year and gave up on learning how to do it after about three YouTube tutorials. The worst thing is, I know all of these things would be relaxing and good for me, if only I stopped striving for unreasonable perfection from the very start.
Living for yourself and freeing yourself from other people’s expectations is not easy, and certainly not something I have managed yet. But, even just becoming aware of these feelings, and slowly and purposefully trying to let go of them is a step towards being gentler to ourselves and rediscovering childhood joy without the stress that may come along with it.
After all, as my favourite Taylor Swift song often reminds me, we are all just trying here.
Edited by Beritan Yagis