This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Leeds chapter.
Last week, while the world went a little mad, I celebrated hitting the ripe old age of 21. As I bathed in my birthday glory, surrounded by copious amounts of cake, prosecco and hand sanitizer, I came to the sobering realisation that I am now considered to be an adult. It was a scary moment and one that seems to have come just a bit too quickly. Turning 20 didn’t seem like such a big deal – I mean, I was practically just a teenager with training wheels – but now it’s impossible to escape the fact that I’m a fully-fledged adult woman who still doesn’t know how to poach an egg. It led me to wonder, how many other ‘twenty-somethings’ feel just as unprepared as me?
All this wondering led to a lot of Googling and eventually a bit of reading. I found a whole load of books on being in your 20s; books that cover everything from love, to friendships, to careers, finance and mental health – I’ve picked out ten of my favourite finds for you below.
The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of Them Now – Meg Jay
In this book, clinical psychologist Dr Meg Jay argues that your twenties are the most defining decade of adulthood (hence the title). The Defining Decade combines the contemporary science of the twentysomething years with real-life stories to show us how work, relationships, personality, social networks, identity and even the brain can change more during this decade than at any other time in adulthood. Initially, the title alone almost gave me an existential crisis (what do you mean your twenties matter??) but I really loved the mix of science and social study within the book – a definite must-read!
My favourite quote: “Most twentysomethings can’t write the last sentence of their lives. But when pressed, they usually can identify things they want in their 30s or 40s or 60s – or things they don’t want – and work backwards from there. This is how you have your own multigenerational epic with a happy ending. This is how you live your life in real time.”
What a Time to be Alone: The Slumflower’s Guide to Why You Are Already Enough – Chidera Eggerue
Chidera Eggerue, known to many as the Slumflower, provides amazing insight and wisdom in her book What A Time To Be Alone. Eggerue argues that not only is being alone okay, it can be just about the best thing that’s ever happened to you – an important lesson for anyone in their 20s. What A Time To Be Alone challenges us to celebrate ourselves by deciding our own self-worth and to stop worrying about others. It’s a powerful book with lots of sassy moments.
My favourite quote; “Choose yourself. Over and over again. Even when you’ve let yourself down. Choose yourself. Even when it feels uncomfortable. Choose yourself. Even when you’re tired. Choose Yourself.”
Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together – Erin Lowry
Broke Millennial is a life-saver for anyone like me that just can’t manage their money. Lowry not only covers general financial situations but also really specific scenarios that many millennials/older GenZ’s find themselves in; such as splitting the bill at the restaurant or moving home after university. One thing I really want to get a handle on in my 20s are my finances; I want to be one of those people whose card doesn’t get declined for 80p and I think this book is a step in the right direction – it’s relaxed, relatable and easy to follow, I highly recommend it!
My favourite quote; “After writing the blog for four years and consulting both friends and complete strangers about basic personal finance topics, it’s clear to me how much anxiety about money still exists, especially for young people like you, and this needs to be fixed now. Failure to do so means you may not be able to afford the kids (or pets) you want to have, there will be no money for your 30-before-30 or 40-before-40 lists, or you’ll do those things in lieu of saving wisely, and then you’ll have to work until you kick the bucket because you chose to do your whole bucket list first. This may sound dramatic, but the point is that a lack of basic financial education sets you up to be sucked into the stressful black hole of the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle.”
Feminists Don’t Wear Pink (and Other Lies): Amazing Women on What the F-Word Means to Them – Scarlett Curtis
It would be easier to tell you what this book doesn’t cover rather than what it does. It is, in its most basic form, a collection of feminist essays but I felt it was more like a collaboration of stories. These stories come from well-known individuals such as; Saoirse Ronan, Skai Jackson, Jameela Jamil and many more, and deal with issues of gender, race, faith, sexuality and class. Not everything in it will interest everyone but I do believe everyone could get something out of it.
My favourite quote; “Remember that when a women gets the job you wanted or dates that bloke you fancied or wears a dress you loved but couldn’t afford, she hasn’t taken anything from you. There is time and space for you to do it too. One of the cleverest things the patriarchy did was make us believe that there is only one tiny sliver of success cake available; that we all have to fight over it; that a woman who tramples on her competitors to chow it down first is somehow ‘ruthless’ or to borrow a phrase from Apprentice-ese, ‘a natural business mind.’ This is a scare-mongering lie. There are so many cakes to eat. And if you can’t find the slice you want, try baking one. Cake for everyone!”
She Must be Mad captures the formative experiences of today’s young women in an incredibly heartfelt and poetic way. From nights out that don’t go as planned; to righteous anger at men with no talent or skill who occupy the most powerful positions in the world, it offers powerful insight into the effects the world can have on our mental health. It tells us that it is okay to just survive and that we are not alone.
My favourite quote; “Your mind is biased and your brain is blind, there’s still a store of strength left in you to find.”
I would be lying if I said that the very pretty cover of Florence’s debut book wasn’t what attracted me to it in the first place (bad feminist!) but after reading it, it has quickly become one of my favourite books. It explores so many topics; from insecurity projection and refusing to find comfort in other women’s flaws, to deciding whether to date or dump them, all the way through to unpacking the male gaze and how it shapes our identity.
Women Don’t Owe You Pretty was my first piece of feminist literature and I think it was a great place to start. I’ve recommended it for people going into their 20s because I think it is in our 20s that the toxic structures of our patriarchal society become completely visible – Florence’s book helps us fight back.
My favourite quote: “Growth can feel isolating. Everything you thought you knew about yourself and the world shifts right before your eyes.”
Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close – Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman
Studies have found that close friendships are the key to happiness and so its safe to say that close friendships in our ‘defining decade’ are incredibly important. In Big Friendship, Aminatou and Ann tell the story of their own ten-year friendship, openly discussing the difficulties they faced with rare honesty and humour. Big Friendship teaches us that the most important part of a long-lasting friendship is investing in each other again and again.
My favourite quote; “Langan adds that being transparent also means opening up about how important someone is to you as a friend—making sure you are saying to them that you value their presence in your life. Don’t just occasionally think of your friend fondly. Tell them that your life would lose meaning if they disappeared from it. Tell them you love them. Tell them exactly why you want to hold on to this friendship and make it last for the long haul.”
Big Girl: How I Gave Up Dieting & Got a Life – Kelsey Miller
Kelsey Miller has done it all: crash diets, healthy diets, and diets that you pay money for. She’s been fighting with her body since a young age, and at 29, she finally hit rock-bottom and realised that no diet could transform her body or her life.
BIG GIRL follows Kelsey’s journey into, and out of, self-loathing and disordered eating. Young women face enormous pressure to conform to body ideals and so this memoir is an important read for anyone who’s grappled with a distorted body image, food issues, or a dysfunctional family – so basically everyone.
My favourite quote; “And I hope we can all agree that aiming for “perfect” is nothing short of bananapants.”
I Am That Girl: How to Speak Your Truth, Discover Your Purpose, and #bethatgirl – Alexis Jones
I Am That Girl challenges us all to be the best versions of ourselves – something I’m sure we’d all like to be in our 20s. Jones has built a career on listening to and helping girls achieve their dreams by encouraging them to be fearless. She tells us to chase our passions and to stop listening to the voice in our heads that tells us we’re not good enough. I Am That Girl includes stories from thirty incredible women and a compilation of everything Alexis Jones has learnt into one complete guide.
My favourite quote; “We are all afraid. We are all confident. We are all warriors on this road of life, and we’re all a mess sometimes. Girls are multifaceted, complicated, layered, and emotional beings. So who better to understand us than other girls?”
Everything I Know About Love is an unflinching account of life as a young woman in the modern world and a perfect guide for any woman heading into her 20s; it covers the bad dates and squalid flat-shares, the heartaches and humiliations, but most importantly, the unbreakable female friendships that help us to hold it all together. It’s funny, honest and enjoyable – one of my absolute favourites!
My favourite quote; “Nearly everything I know about love, I’ve learnt from my long-term friendships with women.”
I'm a 20 year old undergraduate currently studying History at the University of Leeds. I love to write about anything but I'm especially passionate about wellness, culture and lifestyle. In my spare time I love to catch up on the latest Netflix shows with friends and take part in lots of retail therapy!
