In the wise words of Alanis Morissette, you live and you learn, and sometimes you have to have your heart trampled on or lose a few times in order to grow. But what if you could build a time machine and go back to visit your younger self? What advice would you give to them? I asked the women (and girl) in my life to write a short letter to their younger selves in order to gain insight from some amazing ladies in celebration of International Women’s Day. Here are their responses.
- Poppy, age 21
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Dear younger Poppy,
First thing’s first, I think it’s safe to assume neither of us liked our hair cut short for the first time – so I would suggest an undercut as soon as possible. Secondly, maybe work a bit harder in your studies. You worked way too hard at the start of secondary school I know, but try and find a happy medium of that academic brilliance when you get to A levels please. Also, actually study maths. This means not watching K-pop videos for the entire lesson.
All the people that were cruel to you at the start of college are foolish and not worth your time. Wait a few years for all of your features to balance out nicely and you will be getting complimented for your beauty all the time. Don’t worry about making friends – you have a great personality, so they will come to you with time. Just be you.
One more thing; don’t wear too many layers out when you go to the memorial service in 2017. You will consequently pass out during the National Anthem which will trigger panic attacks, and this leads to anxiety in your university years which sucks. Keep it fresh and just wear one coat you moron.
Apart from that you turn out pretty peng.
Lots of love, Poppy
- Amelia, age 9
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Hi Amelia,
I love unicorns and mermaids. I like how glittery and pretty they are, and I just wish everybody would believe in them. I have recently moved a lot and got a new baby sister who I love a lot, even when she cries. My favourite subjects at school are art and maths because there are so many activities to do in maths and so many shades of colour and many interesting facts about drawing.
I know you had a hard time in year 2 making friends but you now have an amazing friend called Mollie who is always by your side. So I would tell my younger self to not worry about making friends because she will soon have a great best friend.
Love Amelia xxx
- Abby, age 21
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Hey 15-year-old Abby,
I’ve been where you are, and I know you’re torn between thinking that you’re all grown up and that you can’t wait to be grown up, so let 21-year-old Abby impart some extra years of wisdom on you.
It may seem now like you’re not your own person, that you’ll never escape the triplet identity or become an individual, but give it time and you’ll discover what matters to you and what makes you unique. You don’t have to blend in, and you don’t have to be like anyone else. Lean into what makes you different and enjoy the small things in life. So what if you like your cereal dry and you love writing lists? Once you’re at University you can have dry cereal for every meal and make lists galore (spoiler alert – you go to University).
Remember to be thankful for what you have, and don’t shy away from self-expression… but you should really learn how to smudge and blend your eyeliner properly. You’re not in the early 2000’s.
Love from, Abby
P.S Maybe get a head-start and begin pondering what sort of career you’d like later in life, that would really help me out right about now thanks xoxo
- Tracey, my amazing mum, age 56
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Hello younger Tracey,
It is quite hard to think about how things could have turned out differently really because I am happy with the life that I have right now. I suppose having children so young (20) wasn’t the best idea as it stopped me from achieving as much as I could have done, but to be honest, I wouldn’t change a thing.
I would suggest that you should have believed in yourself more and that you should have been more confident in what you could do because you left it quite late to achieve your full potential. At least you got there in the end!
You should have travelled more so that you could have seen more of the world. I can see now how important this is as it opens your eyes to new experiences and gives you the confidence to be who you want to be.
However, I feel that I have been lucky in life overall and I don’t have any real regrets about any of the important stuff. The biggest message of all is to be who you want to be and to be happy xxx
- Bethany, age 21
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Dear younger Bethany,
It’s safe to say that you’re probably going through a rough patch with anxiety right now, and although it’s not going to magically disappear (trust me, I’ve tried everything), you will learn to live with it and still get the best out of life. Do not let your anxiety stop you like it stopped me for a while; socialise! But I stand by not drinking at parties – save that liver, enjoy the subjects that you are studying, and don’t be afraid to be yourself.
You are going to do some amazing things when you’re older, like travelling the world with your sisters, meeting lovely new people and finding your path in life.
On a lighter note, please learn how to style your hair when you get it cut short. And stop snacking. You are not actually hungry; you are just bored.
Much love, older Bethany
- Finally, Alice (myself), age 20
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Dear Alice,
I have often wondered if my life would have turned out differently if I could build a time machine and give a younger Alice some advice. Being a philosophy student, this immediately freaks me out, as the chance of one tiny change in my past causing a huge ripple effect, and thus changing the life I have now, and love very much, freaks me out. But I am going to put those existential fears aside and assume that my advice does not have such horrific effects, and instead just eases the mind of a 13-year-old me.
13-year-old Alice, you have a lot of growing up to do. You are a baby, even though you feel like opportunities are already passing you by. It is easy to catastrophise and make depressing assumptions about your future, but I can tell you now that you are far off. You have absolutely no idea what you are capable of. Right now, you are too scared to sleep at your best friend’s house, but in 2019 you will fly to Philadelphia alone and spend 10 weeks working as a lifeguard at a summer camp. I cannot tell you now how you get from a to b, but trust me, you already have that strength hidden away in you. Do not rush. Do not panic. You are so young and you will soon realise that you really can do anything you want. Hang tight. Have fun. Enjoy being 13. Don’t worry about the future, it’s not here yet.
Also, don’t cut your hair when you are 16. It is going to be beautiful and so long, and I am not too sure they would have made many wigs with your fine and bleached hair anyway.
Lots of love, Alice xx
I hope that at least one of these letters made you smile or gave you some wisdom. I now challenge you to write your own younger self a letter. It can be extremely therapeutic to be honest with your younger self in order to close that book and move on. We cannot change the past, but putting pen to paper can lift a huge weight off your shoulders.
Again, thank you to all the amazing ladies that wrote these letters. I love you all very much and you inspire me every single day.
Words by Alice Colton.
Edited by Hannah Martin.