Shwmae! Or that’s what I would have said if I was still in my home country of Wales. Despite it only being a four-hour car journey to cross the border to get home, being in Leeds up in the North of England makes home feel like a million miles away with homesickness prodding at the back of my mind since I said goodbye to my family.
The idea of “flying from the nest” is often associated with going to university; we finally leave compulsory education and get to choose where we want to go out of hundreds of universities, to pursue what we are passionate about. We say goodbye to the comfort and security of our homes, where our mams do everything for us, and where everything is so familiar, to living independently. I guarantee the majority of us students reading this have never touched the buttons of a washing machine or cooked something more elaborate than a boiled egg!
Still, even if you have, homesickness remains a cruel part of leaving our families. We are forced to constantly interact with strangers, who come from completely different backgrounds, which is always a shock to the system. From being in school, where you have your individual cliques that were made over the years, to starting fresh at university without them. Personally, I often miss the comfort of knowing I can speak absolute rubbish with my sister and the inside jokes we shared that would always confuse others.
For myself, being from a different country heightens the loneliness you feel when you first arrive at university. Even though things look familiar on the surface, the accent alone rattles you into feeling odd. Whenever I introduce myself to a seminar group, I am hyper-aware of my thick Valleys accent and at first it embarrassed me; I found myself pronouncing words differently to match others, and completely concealing my native language so I could fit in. This stress to fit in only made my homesickness worse. However, this is the wrong attitude to have.
Being from a different country should be something you are proud of and something you share with people. Even though I felt self-conscious about my own nationality, I still found myself getting excited when I spoke to international students as I wanted to immerse myself in environments that were different to my own. The idea of someone being able to speak a completely different language, urged me to ask many questions about where they came from and when someone asked about mine, I would share everything I could!
You shouldn’t have feelings of sadness when you think of home, you should feel happy about what you had and what you possess now as well as what’s in store for the future. Home should be somewhere you want to go back to, but home can be more than one location. It’s how you deal with your homesickness that makes or breaks your experience.
Particularly for freshers, I wanted to provide some tips and advice for how to cope with homesickness because I know it’s different for everyone. Some people want to cut off all contact with their family in the first couple of weeks and refrain from visiting them often to get settled in their new homes. Others want to maintain that steady family connection, so they have somewhere comfortable to lean back on during tough times. There are so many ways to alleviate the pressure of living somewhere new like immersing yourself in your new surroundings!
For me, as a student in Leeds city-living is very different to my quiet countryside home town; I made the effort to attend student gatherings at pubs to socialise and went on walks to see the beautiful landscapes of West Yorkshire, which is an activity that reminds me of home. Additionally, ensure the place you stay in is as ‘you’ and as homely as possible- decorate it with pictures of family, friends and other things you love. After a long day of putting yourself out there, you need somewhere comfortable to come back to, just like you did at home.
From being an international student, to living an hour train journey away, homesickness is something we all feel for the first time when we come to university. It’s not something you should succumb to, but you shouldn’t ignore it either as home is something we all find security in. If you ever feel alone there are so many different options that can help you, especially from the university. Below there are a few numbers listed to call if you are in this position. Though if you wanted more informal support, then consider people in your student life, like your flatmates. They are in the same boat as you, so they know exactly how you feel, and opening up to them may form a bond that reminds you of home.
Student Helplines:
LUU Help and Support – Help & Support – Leeds University Union (luu.org.uk)
International Arrival and Orientation – For Students | University of Leeds
Student Information Service number – 0800 915 0402
Words by: Olivia Davies
Edited by: McKenzie Burnett