It’s unsurprising that the final year of university induces immense stress and tears, yet, for some reason mentally preparing for this year over the summer proved futile and still left me feeling unequipped to cope. The first two weeks of first semester seemed like a sample experience for what this year would entail, and it was stimulating, and I was excited to enter a new academic year with a fresh perspective and clear goals.
However, by week four this fixed idyllic expectation disintegrated. Keeping up with weekly seminar work and lectures; working on my dissertation; writing assignments; maintaining a social life and a healthy sleep and eating routine whilst ensuring my mental health was left unscathed felt impossible. To balance all these aspects without having to sacrifice a couple seemed unrealistic, and that thought remains. Feeling academically unsuccessful and inept at managing life are a consequence of the assumption that students can effortlessly juggle intense academic responsibilities alongside their physical and mental wellbeing.
‘As long as you manage your time, you can do it all’- but this is not the case. Students experience too much academic pressure (throughout primary, secondary, further, and higher education) resulting in inevitable burnout. How do you tell your tutor that you had neither the time nor the mental capacity to complete something without coming across as impassioned and lazy? How do you admit that you didn’t know something that they deemed obvious and important?
Such unrealistic expectations have led me- and many others- to believe that I’m not doing enough and provokes the doubt of whether I belong on my course. When it feels like you don’t know enough or that the knowledge you encompass is not impressive and lacks originality, you’re forced to re-evaluate yourself and question your academic competence, also known as imposter syndrome. Rather than believing that your perseverance and hard work was the foundation for your achievements, you degrade it to mere fortuitous luck after comparing yourself to your course mates. It’s a toxic mindset to have but it’s fuelled by the institution of education.
Renowned academics’ perception of students is clouded by the profound knowledge they have accumulated for decades. Our academic backgrounds and experiences are incomparable to theirs but still they expect from us a similar level of thinking and life management, inevitably provoking feelings of inadequacy within students. Feeling inferior to your course mates is hard enough but to compare yourself in that matter with the academics and researchers in charge of your education makes the collapse of self-confidence and good mental health unavoidable – the basis for imposter syndrome and burning out.
From a glimpse, everyone else seems to be managing quite well with the impact of academic pressure and balancing it with their personal lives. It seems like I’m the only one wrestling with the demanding aspects of life, a tumultuous and disorderly route impossible to navigate.
But that isn’t true.
Academic insecurity is unfortunately common for students, albeit the recurrence and duration of the feeling differs for each person. Nobody’s university journey is smooth sailing especially when we are still recovering from the pandemic. We just believe in a romanticised university experience devoid of obstacles, and instinctively demean ourselves when that idealism is unattainable.
As the first semester has come to an end, the thought of the second semester approaching (and as a final year student, the imminent end of university) is harrowing. With assignments to write and exams to revise for, the Christmas break doesn’t really present the opportunity for a break especially when you’re already exhausted-another issue with the education system. But it’s okay to soak in the burnout as it’s a signal that your mind and body need rest. Before diving into work, plan out your weeks and make sure there’s more than enough time to relax.
You need to heal.
Written by: Manhaaza Ashfaq
Edited by: Izzy Bailey