Let’s be honest: break ups suck. They literally feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest. If you are going through one right now, please know that I understand, my heart is with you, and you will get through this. It may sound cheesy but things do happen for a reason and although it may feel like the world is ending, you’re really just starting a new beginning. So, be gentle with yourself, make yourself some tea and enjoy these tips that will hopefully make the pain a little easier to deal with.
Accept what happened
This step may be one of the hardest steps, but it is the most important for progressing towards letting go. It is very easy to reminisce about what happened or to think negatively about yourself, wondering if it was all your fault or rethinking your actions. These thoughts lead us into an unhealthy cycle and hinder the healing process. To help with acceptance, check out these two apps (Mend and Break Up Survival) which have really great content to help you accept and process what happened in a healthy and safe way.
Create a new normal
When you have created a life with someone and then you break up, it seems like every little thing reminds you of them. So, it is super important to create a new normal. Just think: you used to have an amazing normal before them, and you will create an even better one without them.
Here are a few ways to create a new normal:
- Surround yourself with friends, don’t stay isolated
- Get out and try new things
- Create a new music playlist
- Change something about your look – either dying your hair, cutting it, getting a piercing or buying new clothes for your wardrobe
- Join a new club and meet new people
There are many ways to create a new normal for yourself and there is no point living in the past, all you can really do is move forward. So create a future and new routine that you enjoy, that benefits you and helps you move in the right direction of healing.
Date yourself
I absolutely love the idea of dating yourself. Who says you can’t take yourself out to a nice restaurant or to the movies? Self love is the best love – so do it. Enjoy your time being single and use it to grow and learn about yourself. Enjoy your own company and treat yourself because you deserve it.
Practice self care
Breakups can have physical and mental effects on your health, so make sure to take care of yourself by practicing self care. This can be as simple as drinking water, eating enough food or even going outside for some fresh air since during a break up, even these simple tasks can feel difficult (trust me I know). After the basic self care, try to aim to have a self care night at least once a week. Whether you want to journal, drink tea, have a bath, find things to do that make you feel good. You deserve to take time for yourself to heal.
Read a good book
Books can sometimes save your life when you are going through a break up. Even if you are not an avid reader, I recommend reading because it helps you escape what’s going on and move forward. Some books that I recommend, and am actually reading at the moment, are:
- Eat Pray Love
- How to Heal a Broken Heart
- Milk and Honey
- The Sun and Her Flowers
I highly recommend these books to help you heal, but if you prefer Netflix then give the show New Girl a try! It is literally about a girl coming out of a break up and creating this amazing new normal! I think it’s on of the best shows ever! It is my go-to after break ups.
Be patient with yourself
Lastly, be patient with yourself. It’s okay if you cry, it’s okay if you’re angry, it’s okay if you don’t think things will ever get better. But just know that they will and there is so much more beautiful love waiting for you out there. So be patient.
Use your time to find ways to grow, to discover new things and to learn how to love yourself and the next time you are in love, it will add to the love you already have found in yourself.