Sometimes I feel like even as an adult there are things that I hated doing as a child because they felt weird, and now that I am an adult they still feel weird. I am speaking about things that should be totally normal, but instead still makes me feel like such a weirdo when I do them.
Wearing a winter jacket: Now, this specifically should be totally normal to do, but for some reason, I feel like I am such a weirdo when I do it. Given, I do think it is partially because it ruins the outfit which can drive me insane from time to time. However, the fact that I despise wearing a jacket in general because it makes me feel weird is bizarre to me.
Using an umbrella: This is something that I feel like makes me feel weird mostly just because I feel like it takes up so much unnecessary space, even though that technically is not true. The main point is just to keep me dry, but for some reason, I feel like it draws so much attention to me which makes me want to crawl into my skin.
Going up to people to ask them a question: I feel like this mainly sources from feeling like an inconvenience when I am not understanding something. I start every question by saying, “dumb question” even when I know it was not. It just makes me think someone will think I am weird to be walking up to them.
Eating alone in public: I feel like I need to put a sign on the table that says “I have friends, they’re also just all busy.” There is something about sitting there and eating by yourself that makes my brain say that everyone is staring even when they aren’t.
Given all of these things are totally normal things for adults to do, but I always thought that I would outgrow these feelings and thoughts. It catches me so off guard when I notice myself being anxious about it. However, as I get older I start to laugh at myself when I notice it.