“If you really loved me, you wouldn’t do this.”
“Are you really going to wear that shirt out? You are going to attract negative attention. I don’t want other people looking at you like that.”
“I’ll never be good enough for you.”
Those are just some of many toxic phrases a significant other can say in a relationship. Toxic relationships are hard to identify and accept. Even if you are aware that your relationship is toxic, it is still difficult to leave. These types of relationships are different for everyone, and moving on from them is hard, to say the least. So, here are just a few tips to help you move on from a toxic relationship.
1) Allow yourself to feel
Don’t deny your emotions. Leaving an unhealthy relationship can spark painful feelings. It is okay not to be okay. Allow yourself to feel and take the time to recognize and evaluate your emotions so that you can heal. Bottling up your feelings will only make the healing process much harder and longer.
2) Surround yourself with positive people
Take this time to work on and build other relationships. After the breakup, you will have time to focus more on your friends and family. Make sure to surround yourself with people who you have healthy relationships with. Reach out to your support system and surround yourself with people who you know will be there when you need them.
3) Find out what makes YOU happy
Toxic relationships can sometimes change who you once were. Whether the relationship was controlling or manipulative, it could have consumed you, leaving you forgetful of who you really are and of your passions, hobbies, and interests. So, take this time to re-discover and reinvent yourself. Try something new. Learn what makes you happy rather than what makes someone else happy. Do things that you enjoy doing. Find yourself and who you are outside of your old relationship.
4) Focus on yourself
Now that you no longer have to worry about your toxic ex, your time can be devoted to you! Toxic relationships can be consuming, making it difficult for you to truly focus on yourself. After a breakup, it also may be difficult to be alone after spending so much time with that person. So, although it is very important to surround yourself with friends and family, it is also important to learn to be okay with just being by yourself. So, take time to practice self-care and focus on your mental and physical well being. Worry about you and put yourself first. Doing things like journaling or exercising can be effective ways to help decompress, relax, and eliminate stress and anxiety.
5) Don’t blame yourself
While reflecting on a relationship, it may be easy to remember the good times and look past the manipulation, the isolation, and the control you experienced. And, after leaving a toxic relationship, you might ask whether the outcome was your fault. But it is most definitely not your fault that someone treated you poorly, gave you the bare minimum, or made you feel inadequate. So, keep in mind that the relationship ended for a reason because you were not being treated how you deserve to be treated, and you were not being loved how you deserve to be loved.
These are just a few tips that could help you on your road to healing. Leaving a toxic relationship takes time, and everyone recovers differently! But just know that once you heal, that pain that you once felt can transform into a sense of self-empowerment, acceptance, and development. You have the power to turn that pain into your most extraordinary growth.