How many times in a day do you put yourself down?
I would do it all the time.
*Â Â Â Â Â Â If I did not wake up early to go to the gym, I would tell myself I was lazy and would never feel good about myself if I did not.
*Â Â Â Â Â Â If I had a break in my day and spent it watching Hulu, I would scold myself for not being productive.
Even when I achieved one of my goals, I still found myself criticizing my work and thinking, “It’s not good enough. It’s nothing compared to what she/he achieved.”
The self-abuse made me feel unmotivated and stuck in a negative state of mind where no matter what I did, what I told myself, what I accomplished, I could always do better. And even the better was not good enough for me.
Kristin Neff, author of “Self-compassion” and a self-compassion researcher and the first to define the term academically, described self-compassion as having three elements:
1.      Self-Kindness, or refraining from criticizing yourself harshly.
2.      Recognizing one’s humanity and the fact that all people are imperfect and all people experience pain.
3.      Mindfulness, or maintaining a non-based awareness of experiences, even those that are painful, rather than ignoring or exaggerating their effect.
I decided to take the initiative and participate in a seemingly simple 7-Day Self-Compassion Challenge.
For the challenge, I needed a wristband but I settled with using my promise ring because I wear it everyday. The goal was to switch my ring to my opposite hand every time I had a negative thought about myself. Then I would, record the number of times I would do it each day.
What counts as a negative thought?
*      “Why can’t I look like her, seriously what’s wrong with me?”
*      “Watching Hulu, when you could be at the gym? Very productive of you.”
Critical comments, not necessarily self-hate.
*      “I know I did not put in my best effort in that assignment, let’s do better next time.”
*      “You shouldn’t have reacted like that, go back and apologize.”
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My Results
Monday
7
Tuesday
7
Wednesday
6
Thursday
5
Friday
6
Saturday
4
Sunday
4
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What I Learned & What I Changed.
The challenge was truly a challenge. Once I saw the results after just one day, I was bummed out with myself because I thought negatively without realizing it. I was abusing myself, without understanding the impact it had on my mentality and my actions. What I found most surprising, was the only person who was bringing me down was myself. During the whole week, I received one negative comment from an outside person. Think about it. One person told me something negative during the whole week, but I told myself a minimum of 4 negative comments each day!
I would constantly tell myself I was not good enough or what I had achieved could have been better. During the challenge, I became a bit more aware and when I caught myself having these negative thoughts, I would rebuttal the negative with positive, compassionate thoughts.
At the end of the challenge I realized I was seeing a small change in the way I thought, acted, and carried myself around others. I became happier and more comfortable with myself. Before this challenge, I would beat myself up over the smallest of things.
In order to overcome a moment of self-doubt, we need to have the courage to accept ourselves.
Can you go 7 days without negatively criticizing yourself?