Dear God,
It’s been a long time, I know, and I apologize for that. Yesterday was a very bad day. I mean…the last number of months have had their trials, but yesterday felt like a definite kick in the ass.
Waking up to news that there was a mass shooting in Las Vegas was certainly unexpected. Seems like a silly statement to make, but after several hurricanes and a slow, yet steady re-emergence of the Nazi party in our daily vernacular, I can’t help it. Pulse was devastating enough, within a community I’m supposed to feel safe in. Sandy Hook was unfathomable. Let alone the many we never report on. Now there’s Las Vegas: 58 dead, 500+ wounded. He unloaded on a CONCERT. Concerts are one of the few places where none of it matters—race, gender, sexual orientation. We exist to feel the music and to respond to auditory stimulation. No one is ever cognizant of it, but it’s almost as if there’s an invisible barrier around venues and for three hours we are safe.
Of course, that’s not always true. I am in no way naïve to the horrors that seldom take place at concerts, but this was an outside stage. In a moment of absolute vulnerability, these people were attacked. When is this going to end? When are we going to get our heads out of our proverbial asses and change? How many more have to die?
It’s difficult speaking out about these topics when I don’t know much about gun laws, but I am cognizant enough to see the flaws in this system. Things need to change and I pray someone does something before this escalates more.
Then came the coup de grâce of the night. My uncle called to inform my father of his lung cancer. I can only imagine that as a celestial being you are intimately familiar with the scene of a father crying, but I’ve never gotten used to it. It’s like watching a mountain crumble.
We don’t know how far along the cancer is yet. My uncle will be going through tests soon, so it may be premature to get so upset, but the timing couldn’t be worse. After years of strained relations, my father and his brothers reconnected. Sadly it was the passing of one brother that acted as a catalyst. Losing Joe so suddenly was one of the hardest parts of 2015. It still feels fresh, I can’t help but feel terrified.
I haven’t quite allowed it to sink in yet. I cried a bit last night, but I wanted to remain relatively strong for my dad. He’s finally speaking with his family again and now this happens? All I can do at this point is be as supportive as possible and pray for the best.
Funny, right?
Me praying?
I know you and I have had a strange relationship over the last 18 or so years, but could you please spread some light around the world right now? If some of that falls upon us, awesome, but there is so much fear, uncertainty, and hurt permeating. With the hurricanes, shootings, politics, sickness, I feel like people could use some light and my dad and I could certainly use some too. I’ll talk to you soon.
Love always,
-Tyler