New year, new me, right? That is what everyone and their mothers have in mind when they start off their year. Everyone has different goals ranging from publishing their own book to having a holistic glow up. No matter what your goal may be there are things that always tend to dull our sparkle, make us feel bad about ourselves, or stop us from reaching our full potential. I encourage you to keep reading if you are curious about what to AVOID this year to help you reach your goals.
1. Overthinking, overthinking, OVERTHINKING
Now, I don’t know who needs to hear this, but dwelling on what you have already done for too long, makes a mountain out of a molehill. Too much contemplation and worrying can make an incident seem so much more serious in your head than it actually was. If you find yourself dwelling on a mistake or encounter from the past, ask yourself 3 questions. Did I learn from that? Is it important enough to clarify to others? How important is the matter going to be in a week’s time? Overthinking can make someone feel so insecure over something that wasn’t even worth batting an eye for. This can lead to immense levels of self-doubt (and girls, we don’t want that. We are bad bleeps!)
2. Self deprecation (aka self-destruction)
I used to be that person who would make my every insecurity the butt of the joke, and then get hurt when people took it too far. Sure, making fun of features or traits about yourself that you are comfortable with doesn’t hurt anyone. However, understanding the difference between things you have accepted about yourself vs things you have not is crucial. Making a laughing matter about something that bothers you internally gives other people unsolicited permission to make jokes about it too. I learned the hard way that we can avoid all that turmoil by simply not bringing ourselves down about things we still want to work on. After a while, we start believing the things other people start to say and stop believing in ourselves. Put yourself on a pedestal and DO NOT insult the queen (aka you)!
3. Complacency is NOT cute
You might be stuck in a neutrally gray area among a fight between your best friends. You could be dealing with a difficult and stubborn person. Either way, you have the right to stand up for what you believe in. You should have the permission to voice your concerns. Agreeing or settling for other people’s decisions and opinions can put a halt on your progress because it puts a halt in your independence and individuality. If there is something you disagree with, or if you are settling for something simply because you don’t want to be a bother….cut it out. Your opinion matters and even if something doesn’t end up going your way, at least you put your foot down and fought for something. Standing in the shadows can only do so much for your progress. Keep going, bestie!
4. Friendship vs ego-feeding
Knowing the difference between the two can be life-changing and I will tell you how. Friendship is a connection between people that makes you feel happy and makes the other(s) feel happy, where both parties can talk and communicate. Ego-feeding is when one person in the relationship is always talking about the other person, or living life on the other person’s terms to the point where they do not feel comfortable sharing information about their own life and always end up consoling the other person about their problems. Friendships should go both ways, not just one. Identifying the friends that you are actually friends with and the friends whose ego’s you feed can help you narrow down the people you should surround yourself with. You deserve to talk about yourself every now and then. You deserve to feel heard and feel good about your accomplishments too!
5. Pairing productivity with enjoyment levels
We’ve all, at one point or another, equated our productivity with how much we can enjoy ourselves. I, personally, have the habit of telling myself I will overwork myself during the week so I can fully enjoy myself on the weekend. Does it work? Sure thing. Absolutely. 100%. There is nothing wrong with feeling stress-free and wanting to enjoy yourself on the weekend with nothing luring on your mind. However, dreading everyday only because you are looking forward to something in the future is a waste of time. There is no nice way to put this nicely, so I am just going to say it. Stop wasting your life. Find something enjoyable about every moment that you live. Trust me, I know it is hard. Find something enjoyable to do everyday, or find enjoyment in everything that you do. For example, if you have a lot of reading to do for a class, maybe put music you enjoy on in the background or do the reading with some of your close friends. If you have a huge interview one morning, prepare for it by meditating, treating yourself to a coffee, and going in with a positive attitude. Start to love everything you do, and I’m telling you, waking up everyday will seem like that much more of a blessing.
