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Things You CAN Control (& why they are more important anyways)

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at KU chapter.

Don’t worry about the things you can’t control, because the truth is we don’t have control over a whole lot. 

I am such a worrier, and thus the living proof of this being such a difficult concept to grasp, and I am sure that I am not alone in this feeling. The root of all my worries, stresses, and anxiety tends to be at the hands of conditions and or people I can’t control.

Though sometimes I still can’t help experiencing anxiety regardless of this fact, I do my very best to remind myself there isn’t a lot we get to pick. 


You can’t control the circumstances of life that have been decided for you; like your family, your parents, race, background, where you grew up, how others decide to treat you, their actions, their reactions, and the list goes on and on. 

It’s hard for me to accept that life really isn’t fair, and I know this seems like a negative outlook to have, but just you wait *there’s more*. 


We can’t control much, BUT, I do believe that the factors we CAN control are most important and indicative of the people we decide to be, and the lives we decide to lead. 


Here are just a few (of the many things I have come to realize!) that I find reassuring to know I am in control of,all of which serve as such a lovely reminder that though a lot is out of your control, you are completely IN control of the person you decide to be:


  • The Way You Treat Others & Yourself


→ “Treat others the way you would like to be treated”, is a mantra we have all heard often, but I doubt has truly been given the attention it deserves. There is such power in treating everyone we encounter with kindness. It truly is the little acts of kindness that make the biggest impact on someone’s day. You don’t know what anyone has to go home too, or the demons they are dealing with inside, so, why not be kind?

Being able to treat others with kindness, means first being gentle with, and giving this kindness to yourself first, as the way we treat others is a direct reflection of ourselves. An act of kindness, no matter how big or small is never wasted. 


Life is so precious, so why waste it being bitter? There is so much room to be kind, loving, and warm.



  • How You Invest Your Time


→ I am constantly preaching this, but it is because I truly do believe in it so whole-heartedly.

 Our time is sO precious. Our time, and the blessing it is to be here everyday is such a gift, and you get to decide how to invest in your time wisely!

“Interesting people have interests”, so, this may include your education, hobbies, passions, and activities you are involved in that you care to make the time for in the first place.


Though these are the “what’s” that come to mind when I think of how I choose to spend my time, who we choose to spend our time with is just as important. 

Though we don’t get to pick family, friends are the family we choose.You get to pick the people you surround yourself with, and I encourage you to be picky. 

The “cheerleader effect”, encompasses the idea of you becoming like the 3 or 4 people in your immediate circle that you spend the most time with. 

SO, remind yourself if someone isn’t adding positively to your energy, then they are taking away. Be picky and choose wisely because you are controlling who you will ultimately become. 

Also! When it comes to who → Don’t forget! Investing time into yourself, your needs, health, and care is equally, if not more important too! Think business. Let’s invest, cutie.


  • Your Attitude


→ I cannot stress this enough when I say your attitude is your decision. You have the power to make this your most attractive quality, your greatest strength -even, a superpower if you will. 

Deciding to approach every day positively is something no one can take away from you, because you gave that power to yourself .


Though every day may not be good (and it is more than okay to feel negative and bad some days-because we are humans and we need to feel through our emotions!), I do believe there is something or someone good to find in every day. 


The attitude you decide to approach life with can make life something really beautiful if you let it be. This process, also, directly correlates to approaching each and every day as an opportunity to express our gratitude, and find the light and happiness within it. 


Similarly, you create your happiness, and once you give that to yourself: no one can rob you of it. You are your own supplier here-if you will. You are the source! Even if someone or something gets you down, you will always bounce back and get better, stronger even. You are in control.


  • Your Effort


→  My favorite way to rephrase this is as no excuses, which entails; not playing victim, and not letting life control you, but you actively seeking out change, growth, and taking control of your life. 

Circumstances may be out of your hands, but the effort you put into yourself, work, and relationships with others is all in you. The sooner you take responsibility for your actions, the greater power that can come from them. 

Keeping all of this in mind, I still struggle, and probably on some level, always will with accepting that most of life is far out of my control.  However, rather than allowing this fact to leave me feeling helpless, I choose to find it empowering. 

Though, only a few things are in my control, these things are of the utmost importance and allow me to grow, and practice becoming the hopefully, kind and embracing human I strive to be!


Everything you CAN control; your attitude, effort, how, who, and where you invest your time, and the way you treat others and yourself all comes from within you. 

How reassuring is it to know that it IS up to you, and you CAN control the way you decide to view and live life with both the advantages and disadvantages it has given you??


Life isn’t about what you’ve been given, it’s about what you do with it.

The person you decide to be is most important anyways. 

I pinky promise.

Hi, I'm Deema! I'm a senior at the University of Kansas majoring in Marketing with a minor in Psychology! I enjoy all things fashion, makeup, mental health, and music related -especially my queen, @arianagrande.