Many of us have already heard about the Netflix show “13 Reasons Why”. There are comments such as “That show is so good,” but I don’t think that is an accurate representation. The show is gut-wrenching, true, and literally what highschool is to many individuals in the United States.
Hannah Baker, to me, was like Susie Salmon; a girl you cannot forget, one that stains your memory and never leaves. I have to say that part of me does not fully understand Hannah and her choices. I think that in the end, things just became too much. Hannah knew the world was toxic. The point when it became to feel like too much was when the toxicity the world included also became her.
Hannah was the scapegoat that many people used because they were afraid. Courtney didn’t have the bravery to be herself and she put more labels on Hannah that then made Hannah a more hypersexualized object. Some of the other students needed to feel powerful, and Hannah became an easy target after the constant labels she got time and time again. I don’t think Hannah should be criticized for her desire for love. High School is a time of emotions whirling in the air. All around us in movies, books, and tv shows we have the stories of love that begin as early as high school. Hannah, like any other individual, desired love. When I say love, I don’t only mean a romantic relationship. Hannah wanted love, a friend she could call a sister. She felt lonely. I do not blame her for the increasing hope of finding a male prospect for love. I take into consideration that she is a young girl who is lonely in a world where love stories are creeping form the cracks at every corner.
With this show, it felt the world or society finally seemed to have awakened to the news that bullying and suicide are important things to be talked about. I find that disappointing. This isn’t the first time a book has been written about bullying or suicide in young people. As a society, we should feel shameful that it takes visual images to take these topics seriously. Clayton was right, schools see bullying happen all the time and no one does anything. Yet, when lives are lost, they put up posters and talk about phone lines that can help. However, we want to avoid saying the names of the youth or remembering which locker carried their books.
High school can be great for some, but for others it can be a never ending nightmare. A walk of solitude hoping that the end of the tunnel is bright, that it can get better. Sexual assault and rape damages not only the physical body but also the mind and the spirit. Hannah Baker witnesses a rape, in which she is unable to move, she is unable to stop it from happening. Hannah Baker is raped, her body is taken and opened to another person’s desires. She couldn’t move, at a certain point she couldn’t fight.
When I was sexually assaulted I couldn’t move. I had seen so many episodes of Criminal Minds. I should have been prepared, that is what I told myself everyday after it happened. People made me feel like it was my fault. The police didn’t help. It is really heartbreaking that victims are made to feel guilty of having others grab and use their bodies for a filthy desire.
You kind of go crazy. Your body seems to no longer belong to you. You feel filthy. You want to feel clean. You want to feel untouched. You want to forget and never remember it again.
Hannah Baker got tired. She always just wanted love, she wanted to feel a part of something. She feels she let down her parents. She feels she let down Jessica. She feels she let down Jeff. She feels she let down Helmet. She was harmed again and again and suddenly she had also harmed people. That became one of the worst things for Hannah to live with. In the past, every time Hannah was hurt, everyone was left unscathed. She was raped and her rapist would go free, he would be be unscathed. That hurt.
I don’t know. I appreciate the show. I hate that it had to air for people to think about this. I hate that people call Hannah a drama queen. I hate that some people in the show don’t want to accept how they damaged her. When someone says you hurt them, you cannot declare you didn’t.
I don’t agree with every tape. But in the end, Hannah was hurt, and none of us can say that is untrue or try to avoid that reality.
I hope that in the future, we get to see mental health in bodies that are not just white. I give thanks that there was a diverse cast. However, every single time mental health is put on a motion picture or a show, it is white bodies. We need colored bodies and mental health also being a conversation. We exist. We need more. We also need our truths.
I know that these stories will have to be written. So I will write. Just like Hannah Baker, I will leave traces of what hurts and how youth of color are in pain. And like Hannah, that don’t want be a part of the toxic world we live in.