In a world obsessed with standing out, I’m learning that ordinary might be enough.
“I just wish I was really good at one thing. Everybody seems to have a talent and I am just mediocre at everything!” a friend confessed to me one afternoon. She seemed genuinely upset, and it left me surprised. I was in awe of all the things she was doing – theater, debate club, soccer – you name it, she is doing it, all while studying law. I had never thought of her as being mediocre; the sheer amount of things she managed already felt like an achievement in itself. But then I realized: I had never actually seen her debate or play soccer. Maybe she was right – maybe she was average. And I wondered: is that really such a bad thing? Why do we so desperately try to stand out in modern society? Is it truly a failure to not excel at everything you do?
The Pressure to be extraordinary
The easy answer is that we want to prove ourselves – to whomever that might be: society, our family, or our friends. We crave proof that we are worthy and capable, that our lives amount to something. We, as a society, have built a culture where our identity is tied to what we do, where we live, what job we have, and how many figures we make a year. It is defined by us being great at something and that gives us a feeling of identity, recognition and makes us feel special.
The comparing-culture is now more present than ever and it seems like a constant digital contest who really “has it all”. And as an ordinary person, you can’t help but feel a mix of jealousy and pressure when it seems like everyone else is effortlessly great at everything.
The truth, though, is that most of us live pretty average lives. Humans are a creature of habit – most of us eat the same breakfast, follow the same morning routines, rewatch the same comforting TV shows, and take the same running route every Sunday.
Finding joy in the small things
Maybe life isn’t about standing out at all. Maybe it’s about realizing that an average life isn’t something to fear. Most people are average, and there is nothing wrong with it. Of course, it’s exciting to land your dream job at this massive company you admire or travel to beautiful places, but life isn’t defined by those highlight moments.
It’s about the friends who show up on your doorstep when you are having a bad day. It’s about the person you wake up next to every morning, and the weekly calls you have with your family. It’s about the little moments that make you feel loved and seen.
So instead of trying so hard to overachieve and stand out, we should start falling in love with being ordinary. Maybe it’s actually wonderful to have multiple interests you’re decent at. Maybe having more than one passion in life is a blessing in disguise: it means you have the opportunity to choose, and less pressure to be number one. You’re doing it simply because it brings you joy.
True contentment is not having everything, but being satisifeid with everything you have.
~ Oscar Wilde
Maybe ordinary is enough
My friend might’ve been right – most of us aren’t exceptional, and that’s perfectly fine. Being ordinary doesn’t mean being unimportant; it means being real. An ordinary day-to-day – the consistent, unremarkable, and quiet kind – is what actually matters. Letting go of the constant need to prove your worth to others might be the bravest and best thing you could ever do for yourself.