Throughout my first year of college, I have come to discover something very important.
IT’S ALRIGHT TO BE SINGLE.
This may be an easy concept to some, but personally, I’ve seen many people struggle with it (including myself). Why I feel that this is important to understand is because there are many people who are not ready for the kind of commitment and self-involvement a relationship requires, but they jump into one anyways. I’ve found that many people when getting involved in relationships seem to only be running away from their personal issues within themselves to find comfort and distraction in someone else. By doing this, they are able to look over all the built up personal issues that need extensive time and energy to truly overcome by making quick validation through others an easier out.
But after getting into a relationship they find themselves still having those feelings of insecurity, relying on the other person in the relationship to be the determining factor to how they feel about themselves. Relying on significant others for validation makes for a shaky foundation within yourself, finding that the ups and downs in the relationship directly affect the confidence and security in yourself. This is why working on yourself and maintaining a relationship with yourself is far more important than maintaining a relationship with a significant other. If you don’t have the former then you cannot have the latter.
I also find that maintaining a relationship in an already tough transition to college is also a messy situation between trying to prioritize time for classes and hanging out with friends along with making time and fully giving your all to your significant other. I have many friends who struggle with this and find having any type of emotional involvement with another person within the semester can affect their academic success because of the difficulty of prioritizing time and emotional availability between the two.
There is also a lot of FOMO when it comes to potentially being in relationships with people, but thinking about it, if you don’t get yourself and your life right then that relationship most likely will not work out.
So this is here for anyone who needs it. It’s okay to prioritize yourself. It’s okay to be fully unavailable for any emotional involvement. And it’s okay to be single.