Indian kids give way too many exams, so I would say we are somewhat experts in this area. But even if you aren’t Indian, there are definitely rituals and customs you do for yourself (and the exam gods) to tear yourself away from the laidback weeks to the most intense week on campus. The levels of difficulty rest largely upon interest and effort, to an extent—I found History and English Literature the easiest subjects, while Mathematics gave me some stellar crashouts instead. That said, the rituals make it a little easier, a little better, regardless.
So, I look back at exam week now, the aftermath. A hangover, you could call it. I still have some assignments to be done here at home, but apart from that, I’m largely in the clear. It seems like a blur—the nights staying up till 2 a.m. and gorging on some random snacks from Narsi’s, the too-quick, too-alert waking up at the first ring of the alarm, the actual exam going by so fast. The moment I exited the academic building, it was as if I’d gone through a memory wipe; nothing of the exam remained in my head.
But although I forget my books until the fateful two weeks of midterms and endterms, I have a small ritual that always, without fail, helps me to lock in. Perhaps because I Pavlov-ed myself into it, but it works, and that is all that is needed.
First, I clear up my table, meticulously arranging the laptop and phone chargers. The books and other oddities are neatly stacked and pushed to the side, and my laptop opens with a bright light, like it is a heaven-sent blessing, while I feel more like Hercules. This is just a prep for the ritual.
My fingers move very deftly to YouTube, where I make a conscious decision to add interesting videos to watch later, and approach the search bar. I begin the summoning, typing in the hallowed words as I have done so many times before. The first time I did this, I think, was when I was in 12th and going through one of those torturous class tests. After that, it became a sort of go-to, a faithful deity answering my call each time I appealed to it.
The results appear, the video loads, and the summoning is successful. Soft, bright light spills over to my notebook; my pen is suddenly running smoothly, and I am blessed with the voice of Marina (sped up). If I glance up at my screen, I am greeted warmly with images of scattered papers with an A+ and a 100/100 on them. The sight gladdens me a little.
Do I believe in subliminals even? I believe in energy, and if I can get it from subliminals, I’m game. Besides, I’m also someone who cannot help but pay attention to the lyrics if I can understand them. This one video, being a compilation of sped-up versions of Marina’s best songs, talks about important things and asks important questions. My personal favorites are “Are you satisfied with an average life?” and “Prima Donna Girl, all I ever wanted was the world”, lyrics that I cannot help but sing along, sometimes jumpscaring my roommate in the process.
Whatever the ‘benefits’ are, whatever the people in the comments say (mostly positive things, actually), the minute that video starts, it’s like my brain turns into a Navy warship. I’m suddenly organised, neat, focused, locked in, and in my prime as I skim through notes and focus on important aspects. I somehow have anti-glare glasses on, the study lamp is warm and golden, and I write into the night, the smooth curving, dipping, and scratching of my pen against paper foregrounded against Marina and her motivational lyrics.
Exam rituals are personalised, and the exam spirits are too. Mine seems to love those 20-rupee brownies and a singer singing about stubborn ambition.
And well, who am I to say no to such simple requests?
Song credits: Are You Satisfied (Marina 2010); Primadonna (Marina and the Diamonds 2012)