“Remember, it never matters” are the words my ever-so-wise professor of a mother left me with while sending me off to college. Most parents were sobbing and the atmosphere was gloomy but my parents stood there with an expression of relief as they said goodbye to me, focusing all of their thoughts on the free leg space they were going to have on the ride home because my luggage was finally out. This might seem made up, but truly, my parents were so composed about leaving their firstborn child as she makes her way into the big bad world, that I genuinely contemplated whether or not they actually gave birth to me. And as if her anticlimactic goodbye wasn’t enough, my mother left me with the vaguest statement ever. “It does not matter”? What doesn’t matter- my grades, my life, my existence as your firstborn daughter? She said I would understand soon enough, and as much as I hate to admit it- as always, Mother knew best.
From my first month in college down to my last as a first-year student- the constancy of my mother’s words have taken a weird effect on my college experience. To avoid mirroring my mother’s vagueness, I will take the time to elaborate on what I mean by this statement and what I can only assume my mother meant by this statement- but dear readers, trust me it’s worth the pain of reading what appears to be my personal word-vomit. Every trimester my sections for classes has changed, which means the people I end up spending most of the day with, differ. It didn’t matter if I fought with someone, or if I was inseparable from someone- by the next trimester I’d only see them once in three days. This was the first of the many “nothings”.
The second was the uncanny realization I had recently about how most of the people I had terrible first impressions about ended up becoming my closest friends. My first impressions elongated the list of nothings. From the B I received in ESH (because my personal insight conflicted with what I wrote on my final paper- true story) that left me in a terrible mood for a month, to the concreteness of my decision to take Economics as a major faltering into me becoming a prospective Computer Science major- nothing has mattered. As cliche, as it might sound, change truly is the only constant in this world. The flip side to this, fortunately, or unfortunately, is that because everything is constantly changing you don’t need to get too attached to anything. Think of it as a double negative of sorts- nothing stays the same and therefore does not matter. Of course, every event in your life is bound to shape you as a person, but don’t dwell on stuff too much. If an exam hasn’t gone right or if you’re feeling a bit out of it, or you feel you’re stuck in a constant stalemate in life- just think of it as an event that ‘had’ an impact on you and move on.
I understand that it is easier said than done, but life becomes so much simpler when you focus on the present and the future rather than psycho-analyze the past. As abstract as it may sound, the past is another vexing nothing that gets added to our list.
So, following the words of my wise mother, let’s all try to remember that nothing, our long long list of nothing, ever matters. The three years you spend in college will turn into memories and all the fights and grades and good days or bad days or just days will merge into one bittersweet heart-warming period in your life that you’ll only end up remembering as one of the best times you’ve had. And the same goes not just for college but for your first job, your first relationship, your first marriage (and hopefully last), your first child, and so on. You won’t remember the mistakes you made, all you’ll remember is what you learned from them. You won’t remember the days you spent missing home, you’ll remember that one all-nighter you pulled when you came back after a break. You won’t remember the emotionally and physically draining days just trying to figure your life out, you’ll remember who you spent your time with while doing so. Just let go of the strong clench you have on the past, let go of the mind-numbing control you have on the present, and let go of all the anxiety you have over the future. When nothing matters, when we’re all bound to die someday, why not try to live a fulfilling life before that happens? I’m not going to conclude this word vomit with a “live life to the fullest” speech- rather I’ll leave you with the same words my mother left me.
“Remember, it never matters”.