Have you ever looked at someone and thought to yourself, “I wonder how this person has fared so far in life?” I fear this thought runs through my mind every time I interact with someone who seems uncomfortable having a real conversation. I understand we’re only 18 year-olds. We’re barely adults, and we don’t have to be serious about everything in life. However, if you still get uncomfortable during the occasional serious conversation surrounding topics like politics, I’m secretly judging you. As Jaden Smith famously asked , “Can we talk about like the political and economic state of the world right now?” Don’t get me wrong, I would love to act silly, crack jokes and quip about something or the other with you. But at some point I will wonder whether or not I can have a real conversation with you, whether that is about contemporary politics, one’s state of mind, or even one’s personal feelings.
While we’re on the topic of serious discussions, I also tend to observe how you react any time someone comes in with an opinion that differs from your own. If your first instinct is to react aggressively, refuse to hear them out, try to shut them down, or insult and attack their opinion, I’m thinking you don’t have the ability to open your mind to something other than your own little world. It is honestly disappointing if you can’t find it in yourself to respect another’s perspective just because it doesn’t align with yours.
I think how often one complains about something, or rather, how quick one is to see the negative in everything, speaks a lot about their character. While I don’t expect anybody to be an optimist all the time, I don’t particularly enjoy being around people who make pessimism their entire personality. However, it is important to point out that one shouldn’t judge someone harshly because you never know what they’re going through. Though, if you have a bad attitude by default, I’m secretly judging. It is hard to understand why one feels the need to drain the energy out of everyone by constantly complaining, picking flaws or talking about worst-case scenarios. The judgement only gets harsher if you’re somebody who uses the phrase, “If you think that’s bad, I had something worse happen to me..,”. Why must you one-up somebody and make sharing traumatic or upsetting experiences into a competition?Â
One can also gauge a lot about another person’s character if they simply question whether this person is capable of taking accountability. Ordinarily, when something bad happens to you or if something doesn’t work out the way you want, do you always blame someone or something else ? If the answer to that is yes, then I deduce you don’t adore the idea of being accountable for certain things in your life. It would be severely inaccurate if I were to say that every bad thing that happens to you is your own fault. So then, why should it be okay for one to always point the finger of blame at someone or something else for their misfortunes? To err is to be human. Taking accountability makes you a better person, and I personally think it shows that you are not entirely afraid of making mistakes.
I hope I don’t characterise myself as an inherently judgemental person through this article because I swear I’m really not. At least, I would like to believe I am as judgemental as the next person. I’m sure everybody has opinions on the basis of which they make certain judgements about others, even if those judgements remain discreet. One must understand, there is a clear difference between noticing and judging one’s behaviour and deciding you know everything about them solely from their behaviour. I may be making discreet judgements but there’s always room for people to prove me wrong. Â