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Culture > Entertainment

a very serious step-by-step guide on how to become a slave to consumerism

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Krea chapter.

Consumerism is a prevalent ideology in today’s society, where individuals are encouraged to constantly buy new products and services to fulfil their desires and keep up with the latest trends. Becoming a slave to consumerism involves adopting this mindset wholeheartedly, allowing it to dictate one’s actions and choices, and being brainwashed into believing that if you have everything Rihanna has, you will finally be happy. If you are looking to delve deeper into the world of consumerism and become a devoted follower, here is a step-by-step guide on how to do so: 

  1. Start your day with a cup of coffee and a reminder that you are not enough. Then doom scroll through your Instagram for your page until you are made hyper-aware of your insecurities and you’re 15 minutes late for your class. 
  2. Keep scrolling through your Instagram (this will cost you your GPA and your future and you’ve totally come to terms with that because it is more important to be coquette than to pay attention in class). Buy yourself that stanley cup you saw because you totally don’t have 5 other water bottles in your room right now. 
  3. Succumb to the allure of endless consumption. Answer the only call you ever get—your Amazon delivery—and rush to the main gate to receive the cute tops you ordered last week. Feel a surge of excitement, only to realise that the colour isn’t in fashion anymore, and neither is your body. Face the harsh reality of chasing fleeting trends and the disappointment of unfulfilled expectations. 
  4. Fully embrace materialism. Begin to prioritise owning that Coach bag over your crumbling relationship with everyone in your life. Prepare your kidneys to buy the new iPhone every year without fail even though the only change will be its ever-increasing price. 
  5. Make sure that the Rhode lip balm you bought is pasted to your phone case. Don’t you dare keep it in your purse. Buy the $40000 case for your brand new iPhone and put the lip balm in there until a new lip product shows up and you throw this one away. After you get that feeling of accomplishment, stare at your bank balance in horror. 
  6. Book one of those 9-month-long cruises that would cost you 3 years of your salary and what it would take to raise 10 children. Why? You’d get a room the size of a jail cell, no windows, and constant seasickness! But it’s worth giving up everything for a good Instagram feed! 
  7. Look at your GPA. Look at your parents’ disappointed faces on Facetime. Buy another shoe because the clogs that look like Daisy Duck would wear them are trendy now. You will never wear them. 
  8. Buy one of those online courses that show you how to fix your gut health except they just make you buy 20 others that you absolutely do not need! I love hoarding! Stare at your bank balance in horror. 
  9. Buy a credit card. Credit cards are imaginary money, so technically, the bank is paying!!! You do have to pay them back but not if you move to another country and change your identity. 
  10. Go to bed entirely unfulfilled and even more agonised than when you woke up. Scroll a little more to fill up that hole in your heart (that looks a bit like the bagel in Everywhere Everything All At Once). Have dreams about buying more things tomorrow. 

Now you are on your way to becoming a raging consumer! Become such an irate, materialistic consumer that not even Shopaholics Anonymous can fix you! Join us in our escape to Ethiopia forever to escape the credit card companies! Sign up below for a free fake passport!

svea is known for being himesh reshammiya's biggest fan, a pop culture enthusiast, and breaking out into obsolete songs in the middle of the street at 8 in the morning. she also talks at every opportunity she is ever given, especially if the conversation has anything to do with biology. her greatest talent is her power to turn the most random ingredients into a michelin star meal and her ability to quote 'normal people' from memory.