My first year at Kenyon, I made the not-so-shocking discovery that I am, in fact, an introvert. Not an introvert that hides from everyone, but the kind that really needs to spend some time alone before and after each big social interaction so that I can recharge my batteries and be as social as possible. It was a weird realization that came with an intense feeling of FOMO because, like most first-years, I wanted to get everything I could out of college. How could I possibly experience everything there was to experience about this new, amazing, beautiful place if I was in my room listening to music alone?
The answer is simple: one person cannot possibly experience everything on one college campus, so stressing over what you might be missing by spending a night in watching Netflix by yourself does way more harm than good. Everyone needs to spend some time by themselves, some people more than others. It’s totally okay to skip that Old Kenyon party to paint your nails if you’re just not feeling it. Here’s why.
Spending time by yourself allows you time to recharge your batteries. When you’re alone, you’re not exerting any effort to please the people around you or keep up appearances. Sometimes, you just need to cry or be angry about something, which is hard to do in front of other people, but really difficult to hold in if you’re by yourself. Being alone allows you to experience your full range of emotions, which doesn’t just feel good at the moment, but is actually healthier for you in the long run.
You’re also able to find out what exactly makes you tick when you’re alone. Sometimes we’ll do things not because we really enjoy them but because the people around us like them. Not that doing things you’re not super keen on because you want to spend time with your friends is a bad thing, but when you end up doing more things that wouldn’t be your first choice than things you truly enjoy, it can be incredibly taxing. Getting away from people, even if it’s only for an hour or two, will allow you to spend time with activities and hobbies that you love, even if no one else does.
Finally, spending some time alone allows you to give yourself the self-care you need to function. The culture today, especially in college, is to go at full throttle for as long as we can in as many capacities as we can. This means that many of us feel the need to spend every moment not consumed by sports, classes, and other obligations with friends, which can be just as much of a stressor as a stress release. Please don’t think that I’m advocating for becoming a verified hermit—I’m not. Friends are one of the most wonderful things that this life has to offer, but being social takes energy. And when we’re expending all the energy we have all the time on everything we’ve packed into our schedules, even the little energy we spend on socializing can be the tipping point between staying healthy and happy and getting sick or feeling emotionally drained and distant. Giving yourself some time alone—a short nap or an episode of Gilmore Girls before you hang out with friends—can be just what you need in order to have the best time ever with your friends.
If you find yourself constantly drained, stressed, or kind of confused about why you’re doing some of the things you’re doing, maybe you need to take some time to yourself. Let your body and your mind relax, recharge, and recuperate from our busy schedules. Taking a night to yourself now can make the next night out even better than it would have been.