As my Netflix history may show, I am quite familiar with the TV show Friends. But before I had even seen a single episode of the series (a much darker place in my life), all of my friends would accuse me of being “the Monica” of our group. Even though I had no idea what they were talking about, I still felt a little offended.
“Come on,” was their reply. “Not everybody can be a Chandler or a Joey.”
I soon learned that my tendencies to exert control over my surroundings or to get over-excited about little things made me a perfect Monica.
But as I have binge-watched the entire series, I have come to realize that Monica is in fact my favorite character, and this is not just because she is the character with whom I most identify. If you look beyond her obsession with cleaning and annoyingly shrill voice (no comment as to whether or not I share those traits with her), you will find that Monica Geller Bing is basically a hero.
1. She survived an emotionally abusive childhood.
The completely disproportionate amount of love Monica receives from her parents in relation to her brother Ross is often played for laughs on the show. But Jack and Judy are shown to be straight up abusive towards her, from constantly mocking her appearance and romantic endeavors to straight up forgetting that she exists.
2. Despite her poor relationship with her parents, all Monica wants to do is become a mother.
Rather than choosing never to bear children after dealing with emotionally abusive parents of her own, Monica instead chooses to spread love. She made the difficult decision to end a long-term relationship with someone because he did not share her views on parenthood. She has even had names chosen for her kids since she was 14! Despite this desire to become a mother, Monica struggles with infertility issues throughout the show’s later seasons but does not let that stop her.
3. She also remains extremely close with Ross throughout adulthood.
A sister always brushed off to the side may grow to become resentful of her seemingly perfect older brother. But Monica and Ross stay in the same close circle of friends for years. Sure, there’s always a little bit of competitiveness between them, but Monica rarely lets her past relationships with her parents get in the way of her current relationship with her brother.
4. She surrounds herself with food, her greatest vice, every single day.
Monica’s childhood weight issues are also played for laughs on the show. But has anybody taken the time to appreciate that Monica beat a food addiction and, instead of living the rest of her life with an unhealthy relationship with food, became a head chef? She turned what was once her greatest weakness into her career, and her willpower in the face of potential relapses takes serious courage.
5. She is the epitome of the “mother hen.”
Maybe I only appreciate this because I too love to mother my friends. But without Monica’s cooking, cleaning, planning, and gracious hosting in that awesome apartment, so many of the Friends hijinks wouldn’t even happen. It’s apparent how much the rest of the gang grows to depend on her to get things organized and keep everybody happy.
Yes, Monica has her faults, but so does everybody on Friends (and in life in general). If you are ever called a Monica, take it as a compliment. You are obviously strong-willed, loving, and courageous.
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