Some may argue that the invention of texting and emoticons has ruined the sanctity of lettered communication. These people clearly have never texted me! My emojis are bursting with meaning and subtext; only the wise can traverse the minefield and come out the other side with clarity. In an effort to defend both the emoji institution and provide a guide to all those attempting to delve into the world of pixelated art, here is a comprehensive list of my favorite emojis.
1) The Ram
This is my signature. I believe everyone has a spirit emoji and the ram has been mine for years. A perfect blend of adorable and fierce (look at those horns), a ram from me signifies deep, but light, affection and love.
2) Flying Money
A newly discovered favorite of mine, this represents pure swag. This emoji is lighthearted and full of random joy. Who actually needs a mini picture of dollar bills with wings? Answer: everyone. If I send this to you, I’m just saying “Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, happy days!”
3) Mushroom
The mushroom is an often overlooked emoji, lost in the pages of animals and plants. It’s drug connotation notwithstanding, this pleasant little fungi representative is one step below the ram in affection. Definitely more casual, the mushroom is not quite just a space filler, but not a statement either.
4) “Cool”
This is our first emoji that deals some sass to its recipient. If someone sends me something legitimately interesting, there’s no way I’m responding with a “cool,” especially not in emoji form. The lack of punctuation and the bluish gray background all contribute to making this a wonderfully sarcastic response.
5) Dancing Lady
The dancing lady is famed and revered in the emoji world as both a sex symbol and how if you go too hard in your salsa, you might lose your hands and your face. Creepier the longer you look at her, the dancing lady is still a solid emoji choice for some wild and crazy fun.
6) Blushing Smiley Face
The numerous options for a simple yellow ball of facial expression within the emoji catalogue can be overwhelming. Depending on how happy, demonic, or befuddled you want to appear, choosing the right one can be stressful. I like to go with the blushing smiley face as it conveys pleasantness and humility, and is not at all frightening.
7) Fire
The fire warrants little explanation. Full of power, this emoji rains flames down upon your enemies. Just kidding guys, if I send you this emoji I’m not hoping you spend the day burning. This is common in response to a new haircut or a particularly funny snapchat or just general because you are all absolute fire.
8) Diamond Ring
As anyone who text me knows, this is not an emoji I often use. However, I am including it on this list because emojis have feelings too and this one is full of them. Two years ago I was volunteering in my middle school and suddenly a group chat appeared on my phone of my sisters and my parents. The diamond ring emoji popped up on the screen. My oldest sister had been dating her boyfriend for five years and they had been waiting for the ring to arrive for months. That day I found out my sister was finally officially engaged to the man she, and the rest of us, loved from an emoji. Is there any better way?
Image sources: iemoji.com, emojipedia.org, uk.news.yahoo.com, rantchic.com