I’ve been putting off thinking about this for a while, but since we’re halfway through the semester now, it’s basically unavoidable. After this spring, the second semester of my sophomore year, I will undergo a series of major life changes that I’m not entirely sure I’m ready for yet. However, other college students are likely facing similar experiences, which is another reason for me to stop evading thoughts about the near future and address them directly.
Thought #1: In a just a few months, everything changes.
Every time I’m reminded of this, I quickly push all thoughts about it to the back of my mind and busy myself with whatever work I can find. This probably isn’t the best way to handle things, but it does force me to quit procrastinating on my homework.
So what are these major changes you ask? Well, I’ll be studying abroad, shifting to a long-distance relationship, graduating from college, and entering the “real world” all within the next two years. Since I’m currently attending college in the same county I’ve lived in my whole life, that’s a lot of change in just 24 months.
Thought #2: I’m going to be by myself in a foreign country for an entire year.
Now, this isn’t 100% true. It’s more like nine months, and I’ll have some close friends there with me as well as 10 other Kenyon students and two Kenyon professors for the Kenyon-Exeter program. But, what I really mean is I won’t have my mom and boyfriend with me—the two people I depend on most in life—and I’ll be in completely unfamiliar territory. I’ll have to adjust to a whole new level of independence, and that’s a bit frightening. So far, I plan to handle this by learning how to cook more than just macaroni and cheese from a box and researching everything I possibly can about international travel and life in the UK. I guess my summer will consist of lots of home-cooked meals and text conversations with my friends using “British English” (There are some major differences. For example, the trunk and hood of a car in Britain are called the “boot” and “bonnet,” respectively. I fully expect to have no idea what they’re saying sometimes even though I understand the words).
Thought #3: I’ll have to figure out how to make a long-distance relationship work.
I know I’m not the first person to experience a long-distance relationship, but that doesn’t make it easier to think about. The farthest I’ve been from my boyfriend these past three years was an hour away (on an average day that is), and even then, I saw him once a week. I have no doubt that we’ll be able to handle the distance. It’s just not ideal, and I’m not looking forward to it. I’ll keep myself busy with academic work and travel—two pretty good distractions! And, I suppose I’ll have to perfect the art of Skype dates. That’s technology for ya, saving relationships one blurry video-chat at a time!
Thought #4: When I come back, I’ll be a senior. Which means I’ll be graduating…
Ahhh! Senior comps! Wait…phew. It was only a bad daydream. I still have two years to procrastinate on those. Or maybe I’ll feel a burst of motivation while abroad to get cracking (idioms. Don’t you love them? Until you have to learn them in another country that is) on that English reading list and sociology oral exam prep. Either way, I’m not quite sure how I’ll ready myself for senior year. I’ll just have to deal with that when I come to it!
Thought #5: I’ll have to become a real adult.
When you think about it, college is a really weird period in your life. We’re simultaneously regarded as “adults” and “kids” by the people around us and by ourselves as well. On one hand, we pay for our own meals, live away from our families, decide how to spend our free time, have jobs, do our own laundry, and vote (or at least we are able to and really should. Come on, Millennials. It’s your civic duty). But on the other, we also make irresponsible choices, frequently call home to seek advice or a sympathetic ear, don’t really pay that many—if any— bills, aren’t entirely sure how to handle minor crises, such as spilling detergent all over the carpet (maybe that’s just me), and, most importantly, we aren’t expected to hold a full-time job. Essentially, college postpones our transition to adulthood, drawing out our childhood a little bit longer and giving us a small taste of adult life before launching us mercilessly into the “real world.” That big leap is the scary part, but we all have to face it sooner or later. Honestly, I’m more excited than reluctant to make the jump, though I’m also hoping that my time abroad will give me a head start on figuring out how to be a real adult. At the very least, it’ll show me how to pretend to be one.
By no means do I consider myself someone who hates change; I just don’t seek it out. But over these next two years, I’m going to learn to embrace new experiences. I refuse to let change intimidate me. No matter how daunting my thoughts about the future may seem, each time I address them rather than pushing them away, they become a little less troubling. By the end of the semester, maybe the leap won’t seem so bad after all.