I’m not saying that I have all the answers. The truth is far, far from that. As a sophomore at Kenyon, I’ve gone through quite a few bumps in the road and I can already tell that there will still be some coming up. College is hard, man. You have a ton of freedom, a ton of responsibilities, and you have to be the one in charge of your own life and how your college experience turns out. If you never make your bed, there’s no mom here to nag you. Want ice cream before dinner? It’s not like your friends are going to tell you it’s going to ruin your appetite.
So what I do every time I feel confused or lost or need some direction, I think WWJMD—“What Would my Jewish Mom Do.” Now, I hate advice. I firmly believe that we as humans are incredibly stubborn, and we ultimately listen to ourselves no matter what someone else tells us to do. With that in mind, I think we all need a dose of tough, Jewish motherly love. Not to tell us what to do, but to pick us up when we’re down, and to give us a helpful dose of harsh reality when the college bubble gets a little too real.
And when I say Jewish motherly love, I don’t mean to enforce my religious views on you. Believe whatever you want to believe and I’ll love you regardless. I mean that my mom is tough in not letting me sulk and reminding me what I have to get done. It’s that simultaneous kick in the butt and kiss on the head that I need to keep my life in order. So without further ado, let’s get started.
You don’t have to be ON all the time
Often, in college, we have this concept that we have to be surrounded by people all the time. Or we have to be present all the time. However, that gets exhausting. Sometimes it’s important to tune out, not worry what other people are doing, and take some time for yourself. Read a book, watch a Netflix show, etc.
Don’t worry about “doing the college thing” right. There is no right way to do college. This is four or so years of your life that you’re spending furthering your knowledge, gaining new experience, and figuring out your next steps. That is four friggin’ years. You have so much time here to frolick and try new things and meet new people and figure out what your future is going to look like. But settle down, because it’s not all going to happen at once, especially if you wear yourself out. Pace yourself.
Give yourself breaks. Go on a walk by yourself, take a nap, eat dinner in your room and read a good book. Just because you aren’t surrounded by people all the time does not mean that you are alone. You do not need a village. You are you and ultimately you will graduate and go out into the world on your own. Listen to your body and listen to what it needs.
College isn’t like the movies
LOL! People go to college expecting that their lives are going to change immediately. Before coming to college, I heard so many times how “college was the best four years of my life,” and I was pumped. Like yeah @Gambier, come and change my life. And I don’t know what I was expecting—crazy partying all the time, life changing deep talks, best friends for life.
Life in college is slow. It’s a lot of taking classes, studying for those classes, remembering that you need to do your laundry and sinking to rock bottom when you have to wear your roommate’s underwear because you’re a worthless human being and can’t get your life together. Okay, maybe not that last part. But sometimes, it really is just going to class, getting coffee with friends, getting your work done, and maybe watching some Netflix before you go to bed. Is college going to be the best time of your life day to day? No, probably not.
Try to get enough sleep, do your work, and good things will come when they come. Stop moping because your Spanish AT isn’t falling in love with you or your roommate and you don’t stay up braiding each others’ hair. Life is not a crazy roller coaster where things need to be happening every second. College is slow, so don’t complain about how you aren’t Anna Kendrick in Pitch Perfect, and do your homework.
No one has it figure out
Fake. It. Until. You. Make. It.
Why? Because I promise that literally everyone is feeling the same way. And if someone isn’t freaking out about what you’re freaking out about, then they’re freaking out about something else. Don’t know what you want to study? Cool, so does half of the campus. Want to study too many things? Join the club. Feel like you have too much free time? Yep, so do everyone. Feel bad because you can’t wait until break? Dude, same. Don’t like your freshman year friends (or your sophomore year friends or your senior year friends)? It’s okay.
Not everyone is as happy as they make it out to be. Some people are just better at faking it. Just because you don’t see them at 1 am eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s while watching The Office doesn’t mean that it’s not real. Everyone has baggage. Everyone has problems. Everyone gets homesick, hates college, doesn’t like their friends, has romantic problems, etc. at some point during their college career. I have yet to find a single person that has had a completely amazing time in college and knows exactly where they’re going in life. So if you find yourself stuck in a rut, shake it off and keep moving forward.
Get off your butt and do something about it
Sometimes you need to eat ice cream and cry and but most of the time you also gotta get up and figure out how to fix your problems. You’re in college and you’re on your own and no one is going to serve you the answer to your problems on a silver platter. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve called my mom to complain about something and she lets me cry about it for five minutes and then there it is: “So, what are you going to do about it?”
Go through your emotions. Definitely, let yourself be upset. But get up off your butt and figure out what your next steps are. Look at your surroundings, and see what you can do next. Have too much free time? Look at clubs that peak your interest. Struggling in a class? Go to office hours. The resources are abundant, but it’s up to you to make that big step.
Sometimes college is scary in the sense that we are on our own and need someone to tell us what to do. I know growing up with a mom that always told me exactly what I needed to hear was awesome until I got to college and she was no longer here.
So whenever you’re in a rut, and don’t know what to do, just think about that dose of tough love that mothers are so good at giving. You know what to do—it’s just so much easier to hear it from someone else.
Image credits: Giphy.com