My friend and I recently had the gratifying experience of successfully setting one of our other friends up with a guy. It took a couple weeks, some coaching on both sides, and many episodes of The Office, but they are now (in my not-so-humble opinion) probably the cutest couple on campus. Clearly, a friend should never pressure someone into dating. But being a wing woman can be helpful if your friend is interested in someone and needs that extra push.
Step 1: Recruit a Partner in Crime
Or two. Or three. Sometimes, it takes a village. The point is you need people to conspire with. The ideal people are those who are close to both parties. That way you can pool all of your information and have someone to work one party while you work on the other. Plus, it is much easier to pull off elaborate schemes with more people. Scheming is truly a group activity.
Step 2: Plant the Seed in Both Camps
It may sound obvious, but you can’t set your friend up with someone they don’t know exists. Even if they already know each other, they may not see each other in a romantic way, so it’s your job to come up with the idea for them. Point the person out in the dining hall. Make casual comments about his or her attractive qualities. Maybe mention that you think they’d look good together. Or you can just forget the niceties and just accidentally push them into each other in the drink line at Peirce. That works too.
Step 3: Group Activities
Now that the seed has been planted, the two parties need to actually get to know each other. This can be accomplished by planning group activities that you make sure both parties will attend. These activities could be anything from grabbing dinner to watching a movie. The goal is to get them talking one on one, so a small amount of scheming has to be involved. If the event involves any sitting down, you make sure they’re sitting next to each other. When you’re walking places, very purposefully (although not obviously) annex the two out of the traditional line of people so they are forced to walk and talk. It is good to have multiple people who are in on the plan with you to successfully execute these maneuvers.
Step 4: Gossip Sessions
This is the nitty-gritty, folks. You have to find out just how much they like each other. Pull each aside individually and have a serious gossip session. With girls, this is usually easy. With guys, it’s best to send in a fellow guy to do the gossiping. Either way, get them both talking about each other. Sometimes you get a person talking and they realize they are way more into the other party than they previously thought. Gossip is a magical thing. If you are able to determine that there is interest from both parties, make sure to share that information. It might seem like a bad idea, but people tend to be a lot more comfortable in situations with a crush if they know the other person likes them back. If you can accomplish all of this and the reaction is positive, it’s time to move on to Step 5.
Step 5: Accidentally-On-Purpose One on One Time
This is the tipping point, and it has to be done with care. You can’t just lock them in a room together with the lights off and hope for the best—this isn’t Middle School. Lure both parties into a group activity. Watching a movie is usually your best bet. Then, slowly, people dip out for various reasons. Somebody has to go to the bathroom. Another forgot snacks in their room. Somebody else has to go let a locked out friend into their dorm. And then voila, the two people are alone together in a dark room. At that point, it’s in their hands now. With any luck, you’ll come back from your “snack break” to find them making out on the floor. Or hey, maybe they are just holding hands. That’s a victory too!
Step 6: Celebrate Your Success
If you’re me, this involves yelling and jumping up and down with your co-conspirators while eating copious amounts of gummy bears. Feel free to celebrate as you wish. You’ve earned it! Congratulations on a job well done.
While it’s certainly fun to play match-maker, it’s important to remember that both parties must consent to being involved with one another—romantically and sexually. Thankfully, my friends and I succeeded in bringing two people together who were already into one another but be absolutely certain you are not overstepping your bounds. Other than that, have fun playing Cupid!
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