With the start of not only a new year but a new decade, I’ve been thinking about the future and what it means to me. And by thinking, I mean worrying. Often a night, I lie awake in bed with my overactive imagination, pondering an array of future scenarios, each one seemingly worse than the one before it. A big question mark of uncertainties looms in front of me, and there’s something truly horrifying about that. I’ve termed this current condition I’m in “future anxiety” — and it is a multifaceted beast. Below I will discuss the many different worries associated with future anxiety. I will also remark on coping mechanisms such as keeping an optimistic point of view. Hopefully, some readers will relate to these feelings, and in reading this will feel less alone.
Holding on to the past
Adulthood marks a final departure from childhood (I’m counting the teenage years as the last remnants of it). As I depart childhood, I find myself missing certain aspects of it. I miss the wonder and curiosity which fills children, the child-like tendency to believe in the good in everyone, and, quite frankly, my parents taking care of mundane things like paperwork for me. But all is not lost. I find it helpful to remind myself that I do not have to give up many of the benefits of childhood. I remind myself that I don’t have to “grow up”, and that no one ever really does. Although many adults put up a front of perfection, humans are, by definition, flawed creatures. Additionally, I can maintain my child-like wonder, and, whenever I miss my parents, I can call them. My old life is not completely gone, I’m still me, there will be change–and that’s okay. It is important to remain optimistic in times of uncertainty.
Careers
After the whirlwind years of college, we are expected to begin our careers. We are expected to find good jobs to make money and provide for ourselves and perhaps our future families. This is, of course, stressful. Financial responsibility is difficult and is something I find myself often worrying about. Will I choose the right job to make enough money? Moreover, I worry about the specifics of my job. Will I be happy in this job, and will I be good at it? And this last one gets me–will I be successful in my endeavor to make a positive impact in this world? For instance, I am interested in going into political science because I want to fight for people who were born into crappy situations and do not have a say in this world. I want to help level out the drastic inequality in our country. I’m not sure how this will manifest itself exactly. I may be a lawyer, or I may work at an embassy, or perhaps even for the United Nations. I’m afraid I won’t help enough people, that despite my efforts, I won’t be enough. My fears and anxiety are never-ending. But I have to remind myself, for now, all I can do is work hard in school to expand my knowledge and improve my writing skills. Although it can be difficult, I have to accept that I’m driving through the dark, in a car with my headlights on, only able to see a little bit ahead of me.
Relationships
Additionally, I worry about the relationships I will make in the future, and whether they will be positive. First, I worry about making friends as an adult. I hope that I will build strong, healthy relationships that stand the test of time, but I’m not sure if this will happen. Moreover, I, as well as many peers I’ve spoken to, worry about meeting a potential partner. Meeting the person you’re going to (hopefully) spend the rest of your life with is no small feat. Sometimes it may feel like you’re the only person struggling with these things, but you’re not. Hardly anyone talks about it, but many people feel lonely and are looking for love and friendship. In addition to remembering you’re not alone, it’s important to remember that friendships and relationships take time, and while there are a lot of fails, there are also some wins. Sometimes patience is necessary. For now, the best you can do is try to be the best version of yourself and hope you find people who love you for that.
Is it worth it to ponder the what-ifs?
Now I’m going to get a little bit deeper. A constant debate in my mind is whether life is predetermined, or if we have free will. If life is predetermined, then what is the point in all this worrying? Predetermination is also frightening because it means we have no say over our lives. “Whatever will be will be,” as Doris Day sings in Que Sera, Sera. And if we have free-will, then we have another thing to worry about. What if we make the wrong decisions?
So, if either of these things is true, is it worth it to contemplate the what-ifs? Or is it better to just roll with it? I wish I had a good answer. The only thing I feel certain of is that the best we can do is live our best lives in our present moment. Whether we can change the future or not, we can try to live our best lives now. That’s what I encourage you to do.
Good news: things you can do
The good news is that there are good things to look forward to. We will get to go to new places and meet new people, we will get to make mistakes and learn and (hopeful) grow. Our story is just beginning, and while the future is scary, there are beautiful moments to look forward to.
