Ah, Peirce, you’re great—you really are. We are truly blessed with an amazing dining hall, considering it’s pretty much the only stable food option we have in this wonderful village of Gambier. Because we spend so much time in Peirce, it’s only natural to have certain mannerisms and quips. We all know them, and we all love them. Let’s talk servery. Let’s talk astrology.
The person we all hate. Aquarians are people who always manage to make their meals rock, despite some of the questionable things Peirce is serving. They know all the insider hacks: how to use the Panini press to your advantage, how you can make your own salad dressings, etc. While you sadly eat your cereal for dinner because everything else just looked bad, Aquarians are dining like they’re at a Michelin star restaurant. Don’t ask them how they do it; it’s just in their nature to stray from what everyone else is doing.
To Pisces, the servery is a place of fun. What better an opportunity to see that person from your class, the guy you were flirting with at Old K, and your roommate all at once! Standing in line for food? No problem, all the better for people watching. These are the people you see truly shooting the breeze for hours while everyone else keeps their heads down, just trying to get food down their throats. Keep on shining, Pisces.
Aries are the Chef Ramsey’s of Peirce. These are the people who throw shade at Peirce on Facebook, complain about not getting a bowl, moan about the lack of forks, and sulk if the menu for the night is not satisfactory. Never mind that AVI works incredibly hard to produce thoughtful menus for our students; Aries people don’t have the patience for the labor it takes to run a dining hall. They want their food, they want it now, and they don’t have time for the lunchtime rush or closing time at dinner. They run on their own schedule.
Taurus folks love the finer things in life. While most of us take advantage of our amazing meal plan, Taurus people are the VI-ers and the Gambier Deli regulars. They’re unafraid, even willing, to sacrifice their K-Card for their taste buds. But we have a meal plan! Yes, they hear your cries, they understand your logic, but they’re too stubborn to play by the rules of a dining hall. If they want ten plates of tater tots, you bet your bottom dollar they’ll get them! Taurus folks will always manage to get the better things in life, even in Gambier.
Ahh, Geminis. The sign we all love to hate. Geminis are classically known as the two-faced sign, the twin sign, the indecisive sign. It’s the sign that ECO—upon reading this article—will hate. Why is that? Geminis are probably those people who take advantage of our swipe system. They get one plate of food, and after two minutes, realize that they don’t like what they have and try again. And again. Until they have that classic Peirce tower of plates and bowls and cups and mugs—so many that they could make a shrine to Graham Gund. But no, instead they just waste the food and resources because Peirce never seems to satisfy them.
Cancers are the happy-go-lucky individuals in the servery. You know how your mom and dad told you to eat your greens, drink lots of water, and have colorful meals full of veggies and foods that’ll make you smart? Cancers got to Kenyon, saw the hot chocolate packets, dessert station, and froyo machine, and forgot everything mom and dad said. Dessert isn’t just a treat; it’s a way of life. They know how to make the best concoctions with the oreos, chocolate syrup, and cherries provided. If you have a sweet tooth, eat with a Cancer friend.
Leos are the leaders of the servery. They go in, they know what they want, and they go for it. Lines? Not an issue for a Leo. No bowls? They’ll figure it out. Whereas to some, the servery is daunting, full of possible missteps, the Leos see it as a challenge. A challenge they can overcome. Stand in their line of fire, and you’ll just get burned.
Sweet, sweet Virgos. Virgos are indecisive in the servery, switching from one line to the next, constantly unsure of what to eat. They’re the ones who make a mess in the salad line, getting the garbanzo beans in the peppers, and they stand guilty as AVI has to fix their mess. They wait in the sandwich line for 45 minutes before realizing that it wasn’t the dessert line. They always end up with Lipton. Some learn to conquer the beast of the servery, and some never get there.
Libras play by the rules of Peirce. They don’t cut in lines, they don’t steal bowls, they don’t hoard cups. They eat what Peirce serves, and they rarely try to curate their own plate of food. They’ll call you out if you get ten hash brown triangles or steal all the edamame. Why? Because they see that AVI works hard, and with their incredibly high value of justice and equality, they want to support AVI. Good going, Libras, you keep the world spinning.
What to say about Scorpios? They keep calm in the rush hour hustle and bustle of Peirce. They never share the same enthusiasm over beloved Peirce dishes, like pierogies or panko rice. Likewise, they’ll never bemoan the lack of bowls or forks. Are they just too cool for the servery? We’ll never know.
Similar to Pisces, the servery is the Sagittarius playground!! Peirce brunch is what they look forward to the most. They love rehashing what happened the night before whilst getting their coffee and schmoozing with people in the omelette line. They know the people who make the best grilled cheese, they’ll urge you to Panini-press your cookies, and they’ll make Peirce mochas with you. While Aquarians keep their Peirce hacks to themselves, Sagittarians are eager to share.
(Get it, he’s cooking!!) Capricorns do things their way, by their rules, for themselves. No, they’re not selfish; the idea that someone else plans their meals just stresses them out. So, you’ll usually see them in the salad line or sandwich line, curating their own meal so they know exactly what goes into their bowls. They’re practical—they know what they like and what they don’t like. They’ll stand in Fusion if they love what’s being served, but if not, they won’t buy into the peer pressure of the servery. They’re the constants of the servery, and never get tired of their own way.
Have you seen these signs in the servery? Let me know which one you are!
Image Credits: Giphy.com