As a senior on the swim team, the annual Shock Your Mom party at Kenyon is near and dear to me. We dance, we sing, and we wear ridiculous costumes that would “shock our moms.” Finding a good SYM costume is always the hardest part of the party, so I’ve put together a list of shockingly simple costumes that are guaranteed to shock your mom—in a PG-rated, mom-approved way.
Dog person? Go as a crazy cat lady.
A simple switch, yet convincingly shocking. Show up in a weird space cat shirt, some velour sweatpants, slippers, and a disheveled hairstyle. Prove your point with a stuffed cat (no real kitties allowed, sorry).
Go emo.
Sweep your bangs to the side, pull out your heavy black eyeliner, poke some holes in the sleeves of your grungy black hoodie, dig out your skinniest skinny jeans and chunky vans. Pregame with some My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy to get yourself in the mood. Just remember: “it’s not a phase, it’s who you are.”
Go as a gym rat.
Rip the sleeves off an old t-shirt (and the neck, while you’re at it), find a sweatband, some mid-calf socks, a pair of spandex shorts. Complete the look with a Blender Bottle, foam roller, a notebook to write down all your insane numbers, a huge pair of headphones, and an inability to talk about anything other than CrossFit.
City kid? Go as a farmer.
Grab a flannel shirt, a pair of oversized, ripped jeans or your favorite pair of overalls, and a straw hat. Braid your hair, slip on your favorite pair of cowboy boots and roll up your sleeves to get bailing some hay. Bonus points if you bring a stuffed animal.
Go as your mom.
Let’s be real, you’re turning into your mother, might as well start the process now. Find your favorite pair of mom jeans, a turtleneck and a brightly colored cardigan to wear over it. Polish it off with an oversized bag that has band-aids, tissues, a pair of scissors, and snacks in it and your best mom hair style. Your mom will be truly shocked at how well you can copy her signature style.
Shock Your Mom is a fun party, but let’s please remember that culturally, racially, or sexually insensitive costumes aren’t cool. Think about who could be offended by your costume before you commit to an idea just because it’s funny. You can be funny, shocking, and respectful at the same time!
Shock Your Mom is Saturday, April 1 from 10-2 in the center lounges of Old Kenyon. Bring your best costume and your KCard.