If you’ve graced upon social media within the past week, you’ve most likely come across the controversial Vogue article, “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” by Chanté Joseph. Now this article has become a major topic of discussion for women across the internet by posting videos of them celebrating their singleness or their controversial takes on the article. So now, I’m going to share mine.
Personally, I agree with what the article has to say, and I think it reflects the major shift in how relationships are now portrayed in today’s society. Some people may argue that the article is putting down women for having a boyfriend, but writer Chanté Joseph spoke out in a TikTok and shared how she simply used comments she received from women to write this article, and that the most interesting point was how both single women and women in relationships both said that having a boyfriend is embarrassing.
I think the article ultimately proves how women are able to fulfill themselves while being single, and that men are indeed losing the social status they once had. We used to live in a time where women were expected to stay at home and care for the kids, while men were the ones providing the family with money, and were given most credit for what the family was. Nowadays, both men and women work. The underlying meaning of this article, just reveals that women have realized their much more than the man standing beside them.
Many men of today’s society seem to have grown “cocky,” and I think this applies to how they had to be in the past. TikToker Xavier Prententious brings up an interesting statement in his TikTok in regards to the article.
“Their living in the world of their fathers and grandfathers without having any of the things their fathers and grandfathers had,” he says.
Their fathers and grandfathers attended work every day just to feed an entire family, and be the “backbone” of the family. This was the only way a woman could typically “survive” and “fulfill” her life back in the day; the change of her last name was the ultimate prize. She would quite literally take any man she could get, even if he didn’t treat her the best. It was what was expected of women, even if it wasn’t what they wanted.
Joseph ends her article with the quote, “Where being single was once a cautionary tale (you’ll end up a “spinster” with loads of cats), it is now becoming a desirable and coveted status—another nail in the coffin of a centuries-old heterosexual fairytale that never really benefited women to begin with.”
But this has become a result of why there are so many loser men in today’s society. They now expect everything to be handed to them, even though we live in a world where it’s socially acceptable for women to work in any job they’d like.
The history of men has just made today’s men (not all of them) much lazier and more cocky. They see themselves as already being superior to their partner. So why would a woman want to date a loser if she’s happy, single, has plenty of friends and able to create the lifestyle she wants?
Personally, for me, I’m 18 years old, a freshman in college, constantly busy, I’ve never had a boyfriend and I could never imagine having a boyfriend at this time in my life. When I think of the word “boyfriend,” I just think of added stress and distraction to my life.
This is a time to focus on myself and though someday I’d like to be married, and I do love the idea of falling in love, even if I was 80 years old and lived a fulfilled life, where I was successful in my career, traveled the world and surrounded by people I loved, I think I would be able to die happy. Which just shows how a woman’s end goal in life is no longer marriage, but just to live a happy life, and I find this to be a beautiful thing.
I think what it comes down to is this: women don’t need men, men need women.