Picture an old movie. It is the last scene before the credits and these two black bars are closing in on the scene from the top and the bottom until the scene has been completely overtaken by the darkness. That is what I saw when I received my traumatic brain injury (TBI).
Recently, the seventh anniversary of the event happened in September. I was 14 and at all-star cheerleading practice. I couldn’t tell you how practice was going because I have no recollection of anything that happened that day before the event.
I can tell you that I was a base in my stunt group. This means I was one of the girls that would lift another girl above my head as she pulled different positions and flipped.
This was my third year of all-star cheerleading, and I loved it with all my heart – I met my best friend because of it.
I can’t tell you how it happened, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you that day either. I still have flashbacks of sitting in the car with my mom after practice that day having, what I now know, a panic attack. We were talking to the other girls who might have seen something or knew what happened because I didn’t just pass out on the floor as most people do, I somehow walked to my mom on the other side of the gym while my vision was going in and out and the black bars were preceding on my view.
The next thing I knew, I was having a full-on rocking back-and-forth, hyperventilating, sobbing panic attack. My mom was trying to calm me down and figure out what happened. She tells me now that I just kept saying that everything felt like I was in a movie. That was me trying to describe the black bars and the overall out-of-body experience.
We ended up finding out an answer that could make sense, but we will never be sure. My flyer’s dad called my mom and said that Jenna told him that when we were stunting, she fell out of the stunt and I was the only one to catch her when we hit the ground. That is the story we have went with since. I must have smacked my head off the ground when I caught her, but the thing that made it worse was that I went right back into stunting until I started blacking out.
It has been seven years now. Many would think that my brain would be healed, and all would be peachy. No. This first (yes, first) major concussion has and will continue to have an impact on me for the rest of my life.
The first major impact my TBI had on my life was triggering a condition in me earlier than it would have come about. I was diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) over a year after the TBI. POTS causes my blood pressure not to adjust correctly when I change positions. For example, If I am laying down and then stood up my blood pressure wouldn’t acclimate, and I would start to pass out.
Another major impact, I suffered from chronic headaches for over a year after the incident.
This didn’t get figured out until I finally went to a chiropractor after one of my mom’s friends suggested them. It turned out, I had suffered major whiplash from the impact, and we never knew.
Now, seven years later I can still see the effects it has had on my brain. They aren’t as debilitating as they used to be, though. According to the CDC, TBIs can impact changes in four categories: thinking, sensation, language and emotion. I had short-term effects in all these areas: My memory took big hits, my balance sucked, I couldn’t find words to express myself in situations and my personality changed.
Now, the long-term effects still plague me today. One of the things they don’t mention very much is once you get one concussion, it is very easy to get another. In the span of my high school years, I received four more concussions bringing my total to five concussions. Since these, the biggest change I’ve noticed is my mental health. My mental health took a plummet. I realize now that I had always had mild anxiety, but the TBIs brought major depressive disorder, panic disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder. Not to mention the concentration issues, short-term memory problems and the fear of eventually developing Dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. The CDC claims TBIs can “cause epilepsy and increase the risk for conditions such as Alzheimer’s disease, Parkinson’s disease, and other brain disorders.” So that haunting thought is always fun.
I have learned to be proactive in my brain health. I take supplements that promote brain health and memory. I also make it a point to challenge my brain whenever possible whether it is in school or in activities.
So why am I writing this? Well, since my TBIs, I have always made it a point to stand up for concussion and TBI awareness especially in young athletes. I urge them all to listen to their doctors. Get the brain rest, which means no screens no lights just sleep, because contrary to popular belief, sleep is one of the best things a person can do for concussions. The brain needs rest to fully recover; it’s like resting a muscle. I stress not going back to your sport too soon. Make sure you are cleared by a physical therapist. I know it sucks, but your older self will thank you. And finally, take these seriously it’s your flipping brain! Just because it isn’t a broken bone sticking out of your leg doesn’t mean this should be taken any lighter.
For more information, you can go to the CDC’s website on TBIs and Concussions.
Also, Game of Throne star Emilia Clarke created the Same You foundation to “break the silence on brain injury.” Find out more information on her foundation here!