Depression rears its ugly head differently from person to person. It can make a loved one on the outside looking in not able to tell what is going on. Many people with depression may interpret the lack of understanding as a lack of caring. Depression will try to persuade the person that she is unloved, unwanted, or that she is to blame for the illness. Try to remember that those thoughts are the depression, not the truth. Telling parents about depression will be difficult, uncomfortable, and bring up many emotions, but is a necessary step towards recovery.
Depression can make a person feel as though she is to blame for her illness or that telling someone about the depression makes her weak. That is far from the truth. It’s important to remember that many people, especially college students, suffer from forms of depression. According to a 2011 study by the American College Health Association roughly 30% of college students said to have felt “so depressed that it was difficult to function.” For all those who suffer from depression, it doesn’t have to be fought alone.
1. Seek help from school.
Many universities offer counseling and have resources to aid students who struggle with mental illness. Kent State University has professional counselors on campus who are available to students. They also offer individual and group counseling, and many other ways to seek help. Talking to a professional helps many people, and they may be able to provide ideas on how to broach the subject to family
2. Write down what needs to be said.
Starting the conversation may be difficult; emotions can run high and words can get jumbled. Writing a letter, or even jotting down specific points, can help to keep a level head during such an intense conversation.
3. Explain both the physical and emotional symptoms of the depression.
Symptoms can include:
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Persistent sad, anxious, or empty feelings
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Feelings of hopelessness, guilt, or worthlessness
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Irritability, restlessness
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Fatigue or decreased energy
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Loss of interest in activities
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Insomnia or excessive sleeping
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Overeating or appetite loss
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Thoughts of suicide
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Aches or pains, cramps, headaches, or digestive issues
4. Be prepared for their reaction.
Parents may be confused, hurt, sad, relieved, angry and ignorant all at once when they find out about the depression. Understand that parents may not know how or why their child is depressed, but that is honestly okay. They don’t need to understand the illness completely; at that moment, they just need to be supportive.
5. Don’t apologize.
Depression is no one’s fault and there is no reason to be ashamed, embarrassed, or feel the need to apologize for an illness.
Starting the conversation may be difficult; but ultimately, it will be rewarding. Remember that parents truly want to know what is going on and how to help. Letting people in to help is a sign of strength, never a sign of weakness.