In the words of One Direction, “It’s inevitable everything that’s good comes to an end.” This is true. A relationship that starts as a good relationship can come to end because of multiple reasons. One main reason that I have found is the need for space. This is not just about romantic relationships, but also platonic.
For this article, I suggest listening to One Direction’s Made in the A.M. album, it really hits the topic. It was their break-up album to their fans essentially, but I digress.
With my fair share of relationships, I have noticed one huge factor that comes into play: the need for space. I have been on both ends of it. I have been the person constantly bugging the person who wants space, but I have also been the person who needs space. Most recently I have been the one who needs space but that is not the main point.
The thing that I never understood until I was in their shoes is why? If you love someone, why do you need space? We are taught that if you love someone, you always want to be with them 24/7. But, this is not the case. I think it is extremely unhealthy to want to constantly spend every moment of the day with someone. Is this because I have not found the right person or because I am still young? I truly do not know the answer to that.
What I do know is that it is okay to need space and a break. Now, this does not need to result in a breakup or an argument if you are with the right person. If this person loves you and you love them, needing space should not be a problem. Communication is key in this aspect. This does not mean not talking to them all day, but it means needing time for yourself. You have to stand your ground when asking for space. I have had instances where I have asked for space and was told I would be given it, just for them not to respect it or the idea.
You may have a lot of history with this person, so it may seem scary to bring it up. But, if this person respects and understands you, they will understand. There should not be an ultimatum given, and if there is, choose what is best for you. Maybe being around this person is not the best for you. Does this make it easy on you? No. I can not tell you how many times I have cried wondering if I made the right decision. But then I think back about how if this was truly my forever person, they would have respected my wishes and want for space.
But enough about romantic relationships, let’s move onto platonic relationships. Platonic relationships breaks and needing space feels less drastic than romantic. I think this is because romantic relationships have a type of codependency that platonic relationships do not have.
I have multiple friendships where I can go days without talking to them and we just jump back to normal. Part of this is because my best friends and I have an unspoken language where we can tell when the other just needs time away from anyone and anything.
But, besides the point, there are times where you need space from friends. This is completely okay and normal. Social burnout is real and especially for introverted people, it can take a lot of time alone to rejuvenate. These types of breaks seem less complicated because you do not need to explain yourself as much to the other person. You can say “Hey, I am not feeling the best and I need some time alone,” and go about your day.
Sometimes getting away from everything is all you need to feel better. I know there are days where I need a break from anything and anyone. It does not matter if I am in a relationship or not, I just need space at times.
Whether you choose to have a romantic break, platonic break, both breaks or no breaks, it is up to you. In the long run, your feelings and mental health are the most important things. Things will come together in the end and will work out. Just remember one thing, you are not a burden for needing space. I promise you.
