Confessions of a Fraternity Sweetheart

So, you want to be a sweetheart? The female face of a fraternity. Maybe you’re dating a brother, or there’s one in your class you’ve gotten to know. Sometimes you party there on the weekends, but is that enough? There are a lot of women, sorority and otherwise, who are pursuing the title of “fraternity sweetheart,” so how do you make sure that it’s you on their radar when nominations come around. The truth is, you don’t.

Being a fraternity sweetheart is about so much more than being a pretty face who brings treats to a house full of men. It’s about the genuine friendships and connections you make with the brothers and the organization they represent.

My story is very common, at least from what I have heard. In the spring of 2016, my second semester as a Kent State student, I met a guy who was a brother of Alpha Sigma Phi. By the time we began dating almost two months later, I had gotten to know the chapter pretty well. Fast forward to the next semester, my boyfriend lived in a house with 4 of the brothers. I spent countless nights there watching Frozen, Shrek and just about any other ridiculous Disney movie you can think of. It was this semester that I realized I wasn't hanging out with these guys simply because my boyfriend was. I was spending time with them because I wanted to.

Shortly after, my boyfriend moved home. It was a hard adjustment for me, going from 2 minutes down the road to over an hour away. Nevertheless, I continued to build my relationships with his brothers and quite a few of them helped me through what I considered to be a really tough time.

A year later, I was elected as one of the two newest sweethearts. I was overcome with emotion and truly honored to be so highly thought about throughout their chapter.

That’s just it though, “to be so highly thought about throughout their chapter.” The point of a sweetheart is to be an example. To encourage the fraternity to be at their best 100% of the time. To raise money, to study, to participate and to encourage them to become the men we know they can be.

Bringing them cookies doesn't make you a sweetheart. Painting them a banner doesn't make you a sweetheart. What makes you a sweetheart is doing all of these things simply because you are kind. Simply because it will ultimately make the fraternity a better place to be. What’s most important is that you are genuine. That you don’t do these things because you want to be a sweetheart.

The greatest reward is not the title. It’s not wearing the letters around campus or standing behind the bar at a Saturday night party. It’s the late-night study sessions. It’s Sunday football at the trailer and a casual wave as you walk by on campus. It’s finding the people who will roast you to no end but will give you their shoulder to cry on no matter what the situation.

Sure, being a sweetheart is pretty sweet, but my life-long friendships with these men are even sweeter.