Blocking, unfollowing, muting, restricting. These are words that most, if not everyone, have heard of. When first hearing these words, you may automatically think of a tough breakup or a past fallout with a former friend. While these words can have a negative connotation to them, that’s not always the case. Typically, we see people blocking other individuals mainly on social media; however, blocking someone doesn’t always have to be behind a screen. And as crazy as it may seem, blocking another person can actually be beneficial to both parties. I know cutting someone off is not always the most ideal thing to do, but it is sometimes the necessary thing to do to benefit both yourself and your mental health.
I feel as though in today’s society most people think if you block another person on social media you are being “immature,” but in reality this is one of the most beneficial forms of self-love. I know from personal experience that there have been quite a few people in my life that I have had to cut off simply because they don’t bring me any joy. If someone in your life is not bringing you the happiness and/or comfort you deserve, there should be no shame or guilt in wanting to remove them from your life, even if it is temporary. At the end of the day, self-care is not immature. When you remove unhealthy people from your life it shows others just how much you value and respect yourself. That’s a powerful thing. Don’t be ashamed of it.
Now, if any of you are like me, this whole idea of “cutting someone out of your life” can be a hard thing to do. I am the kind of person who wants to make anyone and everyone happy, despite what the situation may be. I always try to be on good terms with people no matter what. However, as mentioned previously, blocking or unfollowing others is sometimes the necessary thing to do. So now you may be asking yourself, when is the right time to cut someone out of your life? Only you know the answer to this. And maybe cutting someone out of your life isn’t the answer for you. To be honest, it usually isn’t the answer for me. You need to do what is best for you and your mental health. Although, if someone is mentally draining you, making you feel worthless, bullying you, harassing you or bringing your self esteem down, it is likely you need remove this negativity from your life to focus on you. Not anyone else; put yourself first.
Keep in mind, blocking someone is not always something that has to happen behind a screen, this can occur face to face as well. Some ways that cutting people off can happen in person is with things like no contact, ignoring or solely walking away. There have been instances where I have had to completely cut ties with people in my life, and that is okay. It’s not going to be an easy thing; in fact, it is hard. But something that I always remember is just how much I love myself and want to protect my space. It is important to remember that these people who you may want to block or have blocked could be genuinely nice people, but just not healthy for you and your life. As Audre Lorde once said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Always remember that.
No contact can also be seen as a way to focus on yourself and your health. I would like to add, just because you go no contact with someone or block another person on social media, does not mean you cannot let that individual back into your life…you can. In fact, sometimes this whole process of “no contact” can be beneficial to both parties. This period of time when you are not speaking to someone you once spoke to constantly, can help both people to focus on themselves and make those changes that need to be made. So if and when you two reunite, you can both have a stronger connection than you once had previously. It is possible for people to change, but they first need to want to change. And (usually) to change, they need that time and space to do so. I know personally that going no contact has truly helped me to become the best possible version of myself. So if you are in no contact right now with someone, make sure to focus on yourself and only allow positive energy into your life. Take yourself out for coffee, go to the movies, meet up with a friend or open up a new book; do whatever makes you feel your best. If it is meant for that person to be in your life, they will be.
I think cutting people out of my life will always be something that I struggle with. I love to give people the benefit of the doubt, and I always try to make amends with others if possible. However, over time I have been able to recognize and understand what I want out of people. And if that person isn’t giving me what I want, maybe I don’t have to completely cut ties with them, but I try to give them and myself the space that we both deserve and need so we can both become the best versions of ourselves. Holding space for yourself gives you the time to do some self reflection and understand what you need to help yourself flourish.
All in all, you need to do what is going to make yourself happy in the long run. Only allow positivity into your life. Allow those people into your life that are going to impact your growth and your journey. This may seem a bit extreme, but I don’t think we as a society block people enough in our life. Whether that’s on social media or in person. Of course we can take other actions to “get rid” of someone, but when you block another person it truly is a different approach. I have always been a people-pleaser, so I have a much harder time with blocking people, but I think this is definitely something I need to work on for my future. Rather than seeing the “block” button as a sign of weakness, see it as a sign of strength. It is a strong thing to be able to recognize your worth, your boundaries and what you need. Take care of yourself. Don’t be afraid of what anyone else thinks. Love yourself first.