My relationship with mental health has been a bit rocky over the past few years to say the least. I have battled on and off with depression and anxiety through most of teenage years and now into my early twenties. At first, it was something I was ashamed of and afraid to talk about with anyone because I feared being viewed as crazy or being accused of begging for pity. Though it was not easy, I have come to terms with my mental health over the past few years and have learned to be more transparent about it through a series of realizations.
One of the first things I realized, was that I am not alone. Often times, so many more people are dealing with the same things we are than we think. The only reason we believe the opposite is because people are afraid to talk about. After doing a quick google search I found that almost half of the United States population is facing the same mental health challenges as me. That got me wondering, why is no one talking about it?
My second realization is that mental health is a taboo topic, but it should NOT be. Specifically, in the African American community, we are pressured by older generations to suppress our feelings instead of expressing them. If we are depressed, we need to go to church. If we are anxious, we need to pray. While these practices are a great start to coping with your mental health struggles, they are far from the ultimate solution. Along with praying and going to church the conversation around the betterment of one’s mental health should especially include therapy, healthy eating, and exercise because those are necessary and normal practices.
The final and arguably the most important realization is that there is purpose in my pain. Depression and anxiety look different for everybody. For me, one of the two may mean long days in bed, struggling to eat, or a bad case of self-doubt. Regardless of how tough it may be, I am never going to let my mental health struggles stop me from achieving my goals and fulfilling the purpose that God has placed over my life because my story might help someone going through the exact same thing but they are just too scared to share it with anyone. At the end of the day, it brings me joy knowing that my transparency can lead to transformation on someone else’s journey.
So, how do I cope when it gets rough? Ultimately, therapy has been the greatest tool in helping me cope with my mental health. It simply allows an individual to find answers to why they think the way they do and why they are feeling certain emotions. I have also been able to cope by finding inspiring podcasts that challenge my mindset and encourage me to be my best self. It is 100% true that what you consume, consumes you. Most recently, my favorite has been The Real Talk Kim Podcast. It also helps me to find joy in the little things and find a positive perspective on everything. So often we take little moments of joy for granted and when we are feeling down, we tend to overlook them. Lastly, I fill myself up with the best support system. I have an incredible group of friends that all have helped me in ways they may not know on days that I have been struggling. It is always important to have encouraging and understanding people in your life that love you unconditionally. Their friendship may just be the strength that you need on the hard days.
If you are struggling with anything that I just mentioned, know that you are not alone. Be kind to people because you never know what the person beside you is going through. Be understanding and listen to your loved ones if they are struggling.
If you or are loved one is in need of emotional support during a crisis, dial 1-800-TALK.