Why You Shouldn't Be Afraid to Feel Sexy

For centuries, women have been told what to do. What to wear, what to eat, how to raise a family, the list goes on. We have been shamed into feeling like we should dress a certain way, behave a certain way, act a certain way.

I was walking down the street the other day, dressed to impress no one but myself, going nowhere in particular. “Too much makeup,” a man said as he walked by me.

I cringed at the unwelcome advice, but also at the implication that it is anyone else’s business as to how much makeup I wear. If a man (or anyone, for that matter) views me as an object because of what I put on my face, what I dress myself in, how high my heels are, that’s his problem. Not mine. That’s the effect of centuries of oppression that he will have to work through on his own time. It’s not my problem, and it shouldn’t be your problem, either. You deserve to feel good. You deserve to feel sexy. You deserve to feel confident. Do not let anyone take that away from you.

Give yourself permission to love how you present yourself. Whatever society tells you, you can be beautiful and intelligent. You can be beautiful and professional. You can be beautiful and whatever you want to be. 

Do you feel good in that backless dress? Wear it. Do you feel sexy in red lipstick? Wear it. If you love what you see in the mirror, embrace it.

If we are to bring feminism with us as we evolve as a society, we must stop the incessant policing of the way women choose to present themselves. I cannot count the number of times I have seen articles critiquing women’s fashion trends, imploring their readers to present themselves in a neatly packaged way, easy on the eyes, not too much or too little of anything. If you want to hop on board with the latest trend, you know what? Good for you! If you don’t, good for you! If you want to wear a Victorian era dress to do your shopping, heck, do it! The truth of the matter is that what you wear truly does not matter so long as you feel good in it. No one else.

I am endlessly optimistic that we will see change during our lifetimes. We can be part of that revolution. You can create change by allowing yourself to feel good. Society may tell you not to, but that’s their problem.