It isn’t exactly breaking news that, until very recently, women haven’t been welcome to participate in conversations about sex, porn, masturbation, and female pleasure. While these topics are considered taboo and inappropriate for women, for ‘the boys’, these conversations about sex positions, masturbation and porn make for humble chit-chat.
Unfortunately, decades of access to birth control and mass marketing of sex toys have not completely undone the mind games caused by centuries of female sexual oppression. While the idea that women should only be having sex to produce children is long outdated, young women are still on the receiving end of false claims regarding sex, such as the message that it is normal that the first time we have sex it will hurt – it certainly is not! Fortunately, there are plenty of content creators and influencers working to undo these misconceptions, and here are three I think you should get to know.
1. Come Curious
From the male gaze in porn to period sex, Come Curious (@comecurious) are two girls, Florence and Reed, on a mission to reduce the stigma attached to sex, describing their content as a ‘sex, body and mental health honesty platform’. You’ll find them on Instagram and YouTube and their award-winning podcast, F**ks Given, where they create safe spaces for open conversations about an array of topics within sex and relationships. They have YouTube videos about different types of orgasms, sex toy reviews and even tips on how to give your partner oral sex.
However, they don’t shy away from more personal topics. On their IGTV series Discovery Diaries, the girls have documented their experiences healing from breakups and heartbreak, as well as first-person experiences such as dating while having herpes. These girls are particularly conscious of talking about concerns specific to the modern world of dating, including sending and receiving nudes, casual dating, and friends with benefits relationships, while also being attuned to non-heterosexual sex.
But while these girls are on a quest to end sexual taboos and get everyone talking more about sex, you’ll also find them being vulnerable and transparent about their own experiences and mental health.
2. Naked Grapefruit
Working under the tagline ‘We cum in peace, so should you’, Naked Grapefruit (@nakedgrapefruitt) is on a mission to break down the barriers that stand in the way of female pleasure. On their blog, you’ll find them unpacking a variety of topics, like the psychology of slut-shaming, the mystery of the ‘g-spot,’ and a breaking down of the loose/tight vagina dichotomy.
Their commitment to the female orgasm is best demonstrated by their own vibrator ‘first base,’ a vibrator for anyone and everyone but especially those who may be intimidated by the spectrum of toys on the market. In fact, you can now even pair ‘first base’ with their latest product, ‘it’s just lube.’ Nevertheless, you don’t have to buy their products to understand their message, which is equally captured by their philosophies of ‘having a wank ain’t rank’ and ‘stroke clits not egos.’
In their mission to cut ties with misogyny and the Freudian psychology that might be telling you that masturbation is ‘dirty’, you’ll also find that their Instagram feed is full of artwork and designs proudly flaunting female nipples and body hair, as well as their trademark character ‘Brad’ the fuckboy.
3. Speaking of Autumn
Based in Colombia in South Carolina, you’ll find Autumn (she/they) (@speakingofautumn), a certified intimacy educator, filling in the gaps that your Year Six sex education left out, regarding non-heterosexual sex, consent, boundaries and UTIs to name a few.
You’ll also find her spreading the word on vaginal health. Whether it’s reviewing period products, reducing the stigma surrounding discharge, or talking about the importance of your vagina’s PH, Autumn is working round the clock to make sure women have the best sexual health possible. In fact, one of the causes she frequently addresses on her Instagram is the scam of feminine health products that claim to be ‘PH-balanced’.
Nevertheless, at the heart of her focus is to get everyone at their most comfortable with physical intimacy. You’ll quickly learn from her content how strongly she feels about getting everyone happiest in their most important relationship: with themselves. Beyond physical relationships, she is a strong advocate for boundaries, self-care, and self-love. Testimony to the strength of Autumn’s message, she has earned a following from Kourtney Kardashian, recently writing about the effectiveness and addictiveness of online dating on Kourtney’s Poosh platform.