The theme of the ‘present but bad mother’ and ‘absent but good father’ is something I first came across when I watched the Netflix show Ginny and Georgia. I really liked the character of the mother Georgia who, despite having a bad past, had only good intentions when it came to her children Ginny and Austin. When her first love Zion abandoned her because he felt unable to go against his parents’ wishes, Georgia was forced into a situation where she used men for their money in order to provide for her child. She stayed beside her daughter Ginny to ensure she had the best possible outcome in life, battling abuse and prejudice along the way, while Ginny’s father decided to pursue a career in law and then in other fields which gave him a sense of purpose. Georgia is the one who stayed to look after Ginny and yet she is treated with resentment, whereas Zion who left to pursue his own life path is revered and looked up to. So, I ask why the difference? Why is the present mother considered ‘bad’ but the absent father (who dances in and out of Ginny’s life, but never chooses to stay) considered ‘good’?
When Georgia leaves her home as a mere 15-year-old to escape her stepfather’s abuse, she meets a good-looking Zion who is an adult at the time. Captivated by his good looks and charm, she finds herself pregnant which leads to her moving into his family home and being taken care of by his parents. Zion’s parents are not happy with this path that their son has found himself on since they dreamed of him attending law school and establishing himself in life. When a young Georgia finally gives birth to her daughter Ginny, she discovers that Zion’s parents wish for her to give up her daughter to them, making them her legal guardians, so that their son’s life is not destroyed by this bad decision he made. Although Zion initially disagrees with this decision, he is powerless to stand up against them and fight for Georgia and his daughter, leaving Georgia in a position where she is forced to leave. Now a 16-year-old Georgia is in a difficult place trying to figure out how to best provide for her child, with no family support or educational qualifications to help her. Naïve and desperate, she makes a living by latching onto wealthy men who can provide her with employment and thus a source of income, or men who are happy to take care of her and her child. This path in life that Georgia chooses, where she is financially dependent on men, means that she finds herself in some dangerous situations. For example, Gil the father of her second child Austin was physically abusive towards her which is revealed to the watcher when Georgia covers a bruise on her left eye with white paint and eye makeup during Ginny’s birthday party. Zion is present at this celebration so it’s interesting to compare how different their lives are during this intersection. Zion had come for a short time to see his daughter but would be gone in a few days to pursue his own dreams, while Georgia was covering up signs of domestic abuse and plastering a smile on her face in order to ensure that her daughter had a good day. Despite both parents caring about their daughter and wanting to be present for her, it is clear that Georgia made sure that her personal hardships did not impact her daughter in any way.
Zion follows the path that his parents paved for him, attending law school with their financial support, but ends up abandoning this career path and pursuing his passions instead such as poetry and photography. Had Zion chosen to stay with Georgia and look after their daughter Ginny together, he would not have been able to go into higher education and pursue his passions, since he would have had to take on the role of the provider. He prioritised the wishes of his parents and then his own desires over his responsibility to Georgia and his daughter. Even if the pregnancy had been a mistake, he was three years older than Georgia at the time, which makes him more responsible for the outcome of their bad decision-making. It seems unfair, in my opinion, that Zion was able to relish his duties toward his family and only think about himself. But what’s even more unfair is how, because of his absent parenting, he is revered by his now grown-up daughter for his intellect. Ginny shares her father’s passion for words, so he buys her books to read, and during an episode in season 1, they attend a slam poetry night where Zion reads out loud a poem about fatherhood. Ginny is moved by his words and this helps consolidate their father-daughter bond, making her revere her father even more. I don’t believe that Zion is a bad person, he could have easily chosen to completely abandon Georgia and his daughter, but he still makes time to see them and he has developed a good relationship with Austin, despite him not being his own child. But my main issue with this is how much he’s looked up to both by Ginny’s character and the watcher: he’s perceived as a great father and the man Georgia should marry.
Ginny is a character that very few people can tolerate, she’s incredibly selfish, spoilt, and holds a deep sense of resentment towards her mother. From her perspective, Georgia’s antics are the reason she can never feel comfortable in any one place, having to move from school to school, making it difficult for her to ever feel at ‘home’ and create meaningful friendships. As a teenager at the start of the show, you can sympathize with her position since stability and predictability are of utmost importance to someone in her place, who just wants to fit in with her peers and not constantly feel like the new girl. However, her resentment towards her mother goes much deeper than this: Georgia’s charm and easy-going nature sharply contrast Ginny’s awkward and uptight nature. On the outside, it appears that she dislikes her mother which is clear through her slut shaming comments and rebellious behaviour (doing things behind Georgia’s back), but on the inside, she feels inadequate and jealous of her. This in part explains her bad treatment towards her mother, not appreciating the kind things that Georgia does for her such as planning her 16th birthday party for her and her friends to enjoy. Ginny chooses to fixate on Georgia’s mistakes, such as her hiding her past from her as well as her real name, even though she had good reason for doing so. Because Ginny feels like a victim who has been severely wronged in life, she blames all her problems on Georgia who ironically is the actual victim. Suffering abuse at the hands of her stepfather for years and then having to flee her home, only to get pregnant with a child to a man who could not stand up for her, Georgia has had a difficult life.
Georgia’s character made so many sacrifices in order to ensure that Ginny and Austin could live a comfortable and happy life, something she never received growing up, yet the mistakes she’s made on the way is used as a way to justify her being a bad mother. Georgia is not the perfect mother, she can be immature at times and not give Ginny the space she needs, but her love for her children is undeniable. Being a teenage mum with no family support or money must not have been easy, as well as the fact that she was dealing with her own demons, but she deliberately kept this hidden away in order to protect her children. Georgia is the parent who stayed even when it is difficult; Zion is the parent who couldn’t fully leave but also didn’t choose to stay. Georgia found meaning and purpose in her children, while Zion found it in following his career and passions. In this way, I disagree with the idea of Georgia being the ‘present but bad’ mother and Zion being the ‘absent but good’ father. Georgia endured all the pain and suffering so that her children wouldn’t have to, while Zion happily lived his life without having any idea of the troubles that Georgia was going through. Because he didn’t stay, he cannot be considered a good father.