So it all started when I came across a TikTok captioned ‘Live footage of being a woman in STEM’. As an English undergrad student, I am used to being in a female-dominated subject and I was intrigued about the experiences women have on the other side of the curriculum. So I clicked on the video to see what it was all about. (The video has now since been privated.)
I was shocked by how many times her male classmates not only interrupted her mid-sentence, but also repeatedly talked over and ignored her contributions. Towards the end of the video, just when I thought she was going to get a word in edgeways, a male student jumps in and speaks over her AGAIN. I think I counted about 7 times when she was trying to speak, only to get completely shut down.
Since posting the video, McDonnell, the student featured, has received mixed reactions from both people relating to her experience and encouraging her to speak out about it, whilst others have sent her hate and invalidated her experiences. Some even go as far as to call it fake or claim she had herself muted. While it’s hard to confirm this, McDonnell has since spoken out against the haters and their ridicule, check out her most recent Tiktok on this here.
Whilst Zoom is a space notorious for inevitable interruptions, her original video goes beyond minor internet issues. Although the online classroom has given her a space to express her frustration through facial expressions and has allowed her to record her experiences, McDonnell has reported that the same situation happens to her in real life too, even without technical glitches.
Assuming her mic was unmuted, which I believe to be true – especially given the last section of the video, the behaviour exhibited by her male classmates was appalling. I felt for her in that situation and it was painful to watch, let alone “experience daily” as she has stated she has to contend with. Since the video was released, so many stories have surfaced from women sharing similar experiences to McDonnell. My heart goes out to all the women who have had to deal with this regularly, especially if they’re a minority student on their course.
Some of the discussions sparked from this video kept bringing to mind the term ‘mansplaining’. While I have come across this concept before, I have never seen it demonstrated so clearly and so brutally as it was in this video. The definition of “Mansplaining“, according to the Oxford Language Dictionary, is ‘the explanation of something by a man, typically to a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing.’ Not only did they fulfill these terms, but they were treating her as if she didn’t even exist at all. Instead, the men explain their thoughts and concepts over her through a condescending demeanor. In this, they have implicitly judged her voice as not worth listening to and dismissed her from the conversation entirely.
McDonnell’s video got me thinking about the women at my university and if they were experiencing similar “mansplaining” too.
Before I receive hate, I must acknowledge the fact that “mansplaining” is a contested term. Some think that it is just another one of those feminist liberal inventions used to belittle men. Some do not believe it even exists. So I thought I would put those claims to the test. I was curious to see what students at my university thought about it and if it was a common experience for a lot of women in academia, especially in STEM subjects. I wanted to conduct a little social experiment, therefore I sent around a survey and the results turned out to be quite fascinating…
Of those I surveyed, 54.2% were STEM students (Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics) and 37.5% were from the Arts & Humanities department.
Out of the responses I received, a shocking 45.8% of students said that they have experienced mansplaining in an academic, work or societal environment and 20.8% reported that they may have but are not sure. 33.3% thankfully said they have not. Yet the fact that almost 1/2 of the students surveyed reported to have experienced it is just awful.
41.7% also reported that they have been interrupted, talked over, ignored or made to feel like they didn’t belong at school or university. 16.7% said maybe, and 41.7% said they have not.
Of those who were from a STEM background, 2/3 reported that they have or may have experienced mansplaining. While 1/2 of the Arts & Humanities students surveyed also reported similar experiences. From these results, I can conclude that it is more likely that a STEM student will have experienced mansplaining than those studying other subjects and that more STEM students (8 out of 12 STEM Students) have/may experience it than Arts & Humanities students (3 out of 6 A&H students which equates to 4/12).*
*(Note you should keep in mind that these results have been determined from the responses of a single survey and could be limited since more STEM students responded than other fields and departments).
From those who reported these experiences, I asked them to share some personal testimonies and account for those incidences anonymously. I felt like their stories and voices needed and deserved to be heard! I was blown away by just how many responses I got back from them!
Here’s what some of them had to say about mansplaining in the world of academia…
‘I was in a really high level university meeting and this guy from the health faculties department mansplained Covid to me… I came back with papers and citations the next week to show him up but he had retired by then. I feel like it happens more in group work when the lecturers/seminar leaders are not there. I do see some girls actually call people out on it which I admire.’
‘In a University competition, my male competition partner spoke over me and publicly disregarded the points I made. I later made the same points, ensuring that my voice and opinions were heard.’
‘A reoccurring experience I have found to be incredibly frustrating and enraging was getting mansplained and whitesplained something by a person who has obviously not experienced the world as I have. They choose to explain what is correct in MY experience of the world. I honestly believe it’s a defense mechanism where the person gets stunned by the truth, shocked he is made implicit or felt like he is being attacked and so, what they’ll do is interrupt and give their ‘opinion’ taken from feigned ignorance…’
There were also a lot of responses discussing mansplaining in a work environment too…
‘I often get explained things that I already know by male coworkers even though I have worked longer than them. Often during team meetings, I would say one thing and it would be reiterated by a man and it is heard with a lot more consideration and attention.’
‘My old work place (tuition centre) was dominated by male heads. The department I worked with was all female (English Dept) and the other departments (maths and science) was male dominated. The head of the centre and the males in maths and science were awfully chummy-chummy, they could joke about, take breaks, not be questioned, have things easily slide. But for us girls? Things were strict, we were watched all the time, questioned about the quality of teaching etc. If we ever wanted to raise a suggestion or concern, it was laughed off, with a shrug and a “I’ll think about it”. In comes a male maths tutor – laughs erupt in the office, he even sits in the Head’s chair, swings about, talks idle talk. But it’s fine for him right? He’s a boy.’
Some also reported that they experienced it in a social setting…
‘When a man thought he knew more because stereotypically men know more about cars.’
‘Usually been mansplained in social settings – unfortunately I’ve noticed this coming more from men from a BAME background (I am also from a BAME background myself).’
Interestingly, I also asked those surveyed whether or not they were a minority student in the subject they study.
A whopping 87.5% of the BAME students (Black, Asian, Minority Ethnic) that were surveyed responded that they have or may have experienced mansplaining.
(From this I can infer that BAME students have more of a proportional chance of experiencing this type of behaviour than those not of an ethnic minority background).
It was quite heartbreaking to read through all the responses I got back from all these women. I hope and pray that no one has to deal with any more of this type of behaviour from anyone again. I sincerely wish all these women the best and I want to let them know that their experiences are completely valid! I urge anyone who may relate to these accounts to also speak out and raise awareness of this type of treatment towards women. It’s completely unacceptable! Every voice deserves to be heard and listened to rather than talked over or belittled!
I also feel women in general (myself included) feel the need to dampen their opinions or soften their thoughts to be perceived as less “bossy” or “unapproachable”. We tend to overthink our words and conform to social niceties by saying things like “I could be completely wrong but I think that…[insert very valid thoughts/opinions]…but I don’t know…” or use phrases like ‘I’m not sure…does that even make sense?’
These are all terms I find myself using as well as hear other women use ALL THE TIME! I want to actively try and avoid language like this from now on and unlearn this passive/unconfident behaviour I have been conditioned to use as a woman. If you find yourself also struggling with a similar problem why not try replacing some of your words with more assertive phrases like these:
Instead of “Does that make sense?” ——> Replace it with “Does anyone need further clarification?”
Instead of “Um.…Sorry…” ——> Replace it with “Please stop interrupting me” or “As I was saying…”
When someone is ignoring you and getting credit for repeating your exact points, don’t be afraid to say ——> “I Just said that.” or even better… “Thank you for reiterating my point.”
When someone interrupts you mid-sentence, don’t be afraid to hit them with the classic and iconic phrase ——> “Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?”
When you witness other women being mansplained or talked over ——> “[This person] was talking, please let her finish her sentence” or “[This person] had something to say, how about we let her talk?’
When you witness other women being ignored and another person getting credit for her exact points ——> “[This person] just said that.”
I really want to make a more conscious effort to incorporate some of these phrases into my daily life, especially in emails and during seminars.
My aim in writing this article and conducting this social study was to gain an insight into the term “mansplaining”. It was not to attack men or sweep them under the same brush. I know plenty of men who do not “mansplain” and sometimes it can even be women who exhibit more patronising and condescending behaviour. I think the term refers to a specific kind of behaviour that some men and women can perform, perhaps even unconsciously or unintentionally. This article is simply an expression of some of the real testimonies and experiences of women today. I hope that it sheds light on some of the social problems some women have to contend with in today’s society.
While some people may still not agree or believe in the term “mansplaining” at all, from all the data I have collected as well as the personal accounts I received, I have to conclude that mansplaining DOES still exist. Just because you may not have experienced it before doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen and that other women aren’t facing it. It is a privilege to not have to experience this daily and so if you haven’t come across it before – count yourself lucky and be grateful! Unfortunately, this is not the case for a vast number of women today and the responses I have found prove this. Therefore, I ask that you do NOT dismiss other women’s accounts and experiences of it just because you haven’t encountered it personally! From my results, I conclude that women today are still having to face being talked down to, interrupted and ignored regularly, whether that be in an educational environment, a workplace or a social setting. And I for one find it appalling.