Loneliness is a problem that exists at the intersections of mental and physical health. Chronic loneliness has the same health outcomes as smoking 15 cigarettes a day and puts people at a high risk for developing depression, dementia and coronary heart disease [1]. However, unlike other physical health problems, there is a massive stigma attached to loneliness. People are reluctant to speak about their feelings of isolation. Shame, anxiety and embarrassment are all part of how social stigma stops us from being honest with each other and ourselves about how we’re really feeling. People aged 18-24 are most likely to say they have felt lonely than any other age group [2]. This flies in the face of many public awareness campaigns which highlight the elderly as the group most vulnerable to loneliness. Due to global travel restrictions and lockdowns, many of us are unable to be with family or see friends. Especially as the one-year anniversary of the first lockdown comes around, we are confronted again with how much we have lost. Living alone or in poor conditions (including with flatmates you don’t know or get along with) can compound these feelings. While it may not feel like it, there are some things you can do to help alleviate some of your isolation:
- Don’t wait till your loneliness is crippling before reaching out for help. Pay attention to how you are feeling. Try journaling or voice noting your thoughts so you know if something is changing, and you want to seek help.
- Try contacting some old friends you haven’t spoken to in a while. Think of that childhood friend you have on Instagram and see maybe once a year. Send them a message and see how they’re doing. If you have a friend that you text occasionally, try and make the jump from texting to calling. It might be scary but having that kind of connection is far more satisfying and can leave you feeling a lot less alone.
- Use your support bubble (if you have one). If you live alone, you’re allowed to form a support bubble with one other household. That means you can go over to each other’s houses without needing to socially distance. If you live alone, try and make plans with them at least once a week. This will give you something to look forward to and remind you that there are people out there that can support you. If you feel hesitant to reach out to them more frequently, don’t be concerned that you’re annoying them – you’re not! They are probably just as grateful as you are that there’s someone they’re allowed to see, outside of their household.
- Make your space yours. This may sound strange but the environment we are surrounded by can directly affect our mental health. A lot of the feelings of loneliness can stem from the monotony of lockdown life. If you only have a room, try to designate parts off for different things so you don’t end up lying on your bed all day. Go online and order a beanbag for a new reading corner or get some new storage containers for your desk. If you’re in a flat, use the space you have! You’ll be surprised at how a more organised environment can make you feel.
- Look at some volunteering opportunities in your area. Volunteering is allowed under lockdown restrictions and while many organisations have gone entirely digital, there are still some seeking in-person volunteers. Volunteering can have an amazing effect of making you feel part of a community, even if the people you are working with and for are total strangers.
- Look out for online events. Check your department events e-mail and have a look at websites like Eventbrite. Live online events may feel overdone, but watching and interacting with people (even online) can go some way to making us more connected.
If you need to talk to someone that is not a friend or family member, try contacting groups like the Samaritans on 116 123 or The Mix, a help service for under 25s, on 0808 808 4494 or text THEMIX to 85258.
There are so many people out there who are feeling the exact same way. Loneliness is a common problem with many solutions available. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.