If Christmas has one million fans, I am its biggest. If Christmas has one fan, it is me. If Christmas has no fans, please enjoy my funeral because I will be dead. I love Christmas. That is no secret. I love the movies, the songs, the decorating and the gifts. I love wearing silly hats and jumpers, eating silly turkey dinners and pulling silly crackers. The air just feels different at Christmas time. It’s magical.
But with the joy and magic of the holiday season also come immense expectations.
Expectations of more socialising, of spending a ridiculous amount of money, of making the most of the “Christmas cheer”, are also all in the air this festive period. As much as I love this time of year (which is a lot), sometimes it can be just a bit overwhelming. All the festive joy and merriment doesn’t leave a lot of room for much else.
On those days when I’m feeling down during the festive period, I get this nagging feeling I’m failing. It’s the holidays, it’s Christmas, what could I possibly be failing at? Well, just that. I feel like I’m failing at Christmas. Failing at being festive, at making the most of the season that I look forward to so much every year. It’s almost like I’m spoiling the spirit of Christmas by doing a very normal and human thing … being just a little bit sad.
A quick fact about me: I despise toxic positivity just as much as I love Christmas. It’s unrealistic to expect people to be happy all the time. I am a big advocate of acknowledging every emotion, even the ugly ones. It’s an unhealthy and unhelpful thing to be told that you always need to “think happy thoughts to be happy”. That’s not real and that’s not human…it’s also impossible. Now, with that in mind this next sentence might sound ridiculous and very off-brand to you, but, during this festive period, I sometimes can’t help thinking that if I’m not cheery and joyous every moment of every day, then I’m ruining what should be the most wonderful time of the year.
I think one of the reasons I love Christmas as much as I do, is because it’s so different. Full stop. For one brief moment of the year, we get an escape. Streets and households are brightened with fairy lights. Schools, offices, and bland town squares are decked to the max with tinsel and baubles. The average day is made just that bit more bearable, and even magical when paired with glitter and glistening lights.
Well, as much as my inner child smiles with glee at this glittering world around her, it’s still the same world it was pre-Christmasification. Christmas is wonderful, but it isn’t a fix-all. Life is dressed up in gold and sparkles, but it carries on, for the most part, as it was. Some people may be lonely. Some may be grieving. Whatever any of us were struggling with before, carries through into the month of December. You would hope that the magic of the season would make it all a bit better…and sometimes it does, but other times, all the shimmering festivities around us, all that Christmas light, can make our own little patches of darkness seem pitch black in comparison.
The expectation of Christmas cheer on a day when I’m not feeling especially cheery can be exhausting. It can feel like I’m falling short of making this Christmas a perfect one. I know, of course, that perfection is unattainable, and I wouldn’t even be able to tell you what my idea of a “perfect” Christmas is. Speaking with a friend the other day, we talked about the pressures of Christmas. So I know I’m not alone in this feeling. I guess that’s where the take-this-message-away-with-you-if-you-like spin on this article is approaching. We all compare our lives, and ourselves, with others. And maybe the urge to do so falls even stronger at Christmas-but no one will be having a “perfect” time. No matter how it may appear, or what social media portrays.
We can all only just do our best every day and even on the days when we feel far from our best, we should be kind to ourselves regardless. Christmas can be magical for you, or it can be just another month that you’re getting through. Whatever your situation, it’s okay. I for one will simply try not to compare my Christmas to others, and not be bogged down by this conjured-up image I have of what my holiday should look like. My wonderfulness this season will come from the beautiful people I have in my life and with that I can be grateful and try to enjoy my Christmas, however it comes.
If we realise that sometimes it’s okay not to be okay, (yes, even at Christmas!), then it can still be a really wonderful time of the year.