For me, ever since I was a little girl, New Year’s has stressed me right out. Choosing the perfect sparkly outfit or fancy-dress costume for New Year’s Eve, getting way too hyped up on sugar then getting overstimulated, my heart beating rapidly as everyone chants the countdown, anticipating life-altering change and 3, 2, 1… unsurprisingly, everything is the same as it was three seconds ago.
Not much has changed since then. I still feel pressured to have the perfect start to the New Year but nine times out of ten, I’m left feeling dissatisfied and deflated. As New Year’s Day rolls around, we’re indoctrinated with the mantra ‘New Year, New You’, bringing unrealistic expectations, unachievable goals, and mental pressure.
I find myself striving to come up with ways to improve my mental and physical health, but then quite often reverting to comfortable habits from last year before the month is over. In setting unrealistic expectations, our self-esteem and self-efficacy are inevitably impacted, lessening our confidence in ourselves, and ultimately achieving the opposite of our original intention.
Societally, we feel pressured to make a ‘change’ to our lives, whether that’s our diet, exercise, career, or mental attitude. Unsurprisingly, research has shown that these resolutions only last 17-18 days on average. So that makes me wonder, why do we set ourselves unrealistic goals for the sake of the ‘New Year’?
The concept of the ‘New Year’ can work positively for many people. Acting as a motivator to make the change you’ve been wanting to for a while, as the pressure of sticking to a ‘resolution’ actively forces us to do just that – stick to it. But why wait for the ‘New Year’ to roll around to make these changes? Your ‘New Year’ can be whenever you want it to be.
We are reminded of this by the fact that the date of New Year’s Day varies based on cultures, religions, and time periods, as some calendars are based on the lunar cycles, instead of the solar cycle like our traditional Gregorian calendar. For example, this year the Chinese New Year falls on February 10th, and contrary to the Western style of celebrating the New Year in one evening, Chinese New Year celebrations last for two weeks. Then there is also ‘Nowruz’ (meaning new day) which is celebrated on the 20th of March by more than 300 million people in central Asia, the Middle East and other regions, marking the first day of spring on the day of the astronomical vernal equinox. Similarly, in the early Roman calendar, the start of meteorological spring on the 1st of March was considered New Year’s Day.
So maybe we should take a page out of nature’s book and become new versions of ourselves in the Spring? We all know that the winter months can often feel like the worst time to feel inspired and motivated in comparison to Spring or Summer. I mean who wants to get up at 7 AM for a run when it’s dark, wet, and -3 degrees compared to a warm, sunny spring morning? Perhaps we should lean into our natural inclination to hunker down, eat more, and sleep more, as the cold weather forces us inside and finally take the guilt out of it!
Of course, if you feel that January 1st is the best time for you to make a change in your life, that’s brilliant! But if you don’t feel like you can, and you’re struggling to stick to your goals, or even if you don’t feel a need to, then that’s also okay! Your ‘New Year’s Day’ may be when you finally decide, ‘Right, I’m going to give yoga a try’, or ‘That’s it, I’m getting that haircut I’ve saved on Pinterest a thousand times’. Whatever the change may be, it should come at a time when you feel like it, not when you feel you have to.
In my personal experience, releasing the pressure of sticking to New Year’s resolutions and acknowledging the New Year as simply a socially constructed concept, has helped me make more progress towards my goals, as I don’t feel guilty or reprimand myself when I’m “caught slacking”. By reminding myself that I can make a change whenever I want to, I feel less rushed to make drastic changes to my lifestyle, and instead focus on taking small steps where I feel it’s needed. Every day is a new day and an opportunity to start fresh, so don’t feel like you have to wait an entire year to make a positive difference to your well-being.