Any of us who was, is or is going to be in a long distance relationship has seen many sceptical and mistrustful faces. Yet, after one great year of long distance relationship (LDR), I would say that rather than feel sympathy for LDR couples, we should envy them. Even if there is no common rule when it comes to love stories, LDRs can have noticeable benefits and can teach us invaluable lessons for our personal and future love life.
Contrary to who believes that distance diminishes intimacy with your partner, LDRs can make the bond with your beloved one even stronger. When you can’t see each other everyday, it is common to want to share your day with your partner, even insignificant tiny details – as buying your favourite chocolate biscuits with a 3×2 special discount. It’s the way of making your partner feel included in your world and closer to each other. Integral part of understanding the importance of describing your days is learning that you must also convey our feelings and needs over the phone. Our partner doesn’t have a crystal ball to read our minds without us speaking up our thoughts. If it initially seems a too hard task, it will pay off as both yours and your partner’s needs won’t go unmet, making the relationship flourish.
Overall, LDRs teach us what really holds couple together: communication.
Undoubtedly one of the biggest obstacles in a LDR is jealousy. However, surprisingly enough, instead of increasing the chances of infidelity, absence makes love grow fonder. For a strange game of the mind, we only tend to notice what we don’t have. So when your partner is kilometres away from you, you truly understand how much you love and miss them. While in a normal relationship is far too common giving each other for granted thinking they would love you no matters what, this cannot happen in a LDR. You know that the other can live without you, so you have to do your best to be the sort of person they would freely choose to be with. You deeply commit to the relationship, build an enviably profound trust and never give each other for granted. This kind of love is more than physical and makes you feel special even from kilometres away.
Too often we hear about people throwing themselves into a relationship at the point that they end up sacrificing their individuality, focussing only on being part of a couple. In a LDR, not only you don’t run this risk, but you also learn how to balance independence with being in a relationship. Being far from each other truly teaches you the importance of having some “me time”: a time to treat yourself, to take your space and to go out with your friends more (no one likes a friend who ditches them all the time for their partner). This doesn’t mean total independence, but interdependence. You miss your partner, want to be with them and rely on them, yet you’re more comfort in making independent decisions for yourself without any pressure.
After all, LDRs teach you to speak up your feelings, the importance of creating your own personal time and deepen trust and commitment. Despite its evident challenges, LDRs throw up some of the absolutely ideal conditions for true love to thrive, even more than a geographically close one.