Something I’ve seen quite a trend of lately is bashing other women for their differing views on modesty, sexuality, and political/ social voice. Let me be the first to tell you if you haven’t heard it yet, this is not ok. While it’s completely expected and alright to have differing opinions from those around you, you should never use it against another women in regards to how she views herself and the world around her. Newsflash…you don’t know her. These generalizations about the way women dress correlating to how much they value and respect themselves need to stop. The public criticism by women, of the way other women chose to go about their sexual lives is not up for debate. Honestly it’s harsh and unfair to group people together and base your judgement of the things they must and must not value based on the only thing you know (or assume) about them.
There are so many things in the world to worry about and to let ourselves feel down about, but being “better” than the girl in your class or “more modest” than another girl shouldn’t be one of them. We as women shouldn’t be feeding into our own ego and boosting our self-esteem by pointing out the things we may see as flaws in other women. What kind of victory is that? What has been won by putting someone down for living their lives unapologetically? We as women should be standing up for one another, not ripping each other to shreds on social media or whispering behind peoples backs. We should be motivating and uplifting each other, showing support despite different upbringings, cultural backgrounds and world-views. Now I’m not saying competition and ambition are unhealthy because they aren’t. Of course, we will not be best friends with every woman we meet and that’s okay. There is a difference between liking someone and respecting them. We may not like someone or agree with all of their choices, however I don’t ever see a reason that we should be tearing another woman down (or anyone for that matter). We should respect one another.
One article published recently made comments about something that I find a bit pointless but caused serious backlash. The whole premise of the article discussed how cheeky bathing suit bottoms were corrupting ours as well as the upcoming generation and failing to teach them basic self-respect. Reading this stopped me in my tracks and was more than a little disheartening. It makes me sad to think that women are teaching other women that their value comes in the way they dress, instead of the love in their hearts and the ideas in their head. I, a young woman, have so much to offer this world. I should feel compelled to dress, think, act and be whoever I want and feel confident walking outside each morning knowing that I’m about to pour passion into everything I do. I have tattoos on my body and the bottle dye in my hair is fading. Does everyone like tattoos? No. They aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. Do I like tattoos? Yes very much (I wish my wallet liked them). So that’s really all that matters. Are you following me? Because it’s truly a simple concept. Worry about yourself and try saying something positive instead. For every negative thing you may find, replace it with two positives. I have never been concerned with dressing modestly to avoid the unwanted attention of men because I don’t dress for men. I dress for me. I can assure you that I respect myself to the highest degree. To the women who judge my life based on the clothes I wear, the way I conduct my relationships, my feminist ideals…I’m proud of me. That’s all that matters.