Self love is so much more than face masks and sleeping in on Sundays. To me, those are the things I do for myself, but self love is a mindset. It’s a mindset of acceptance and forgiveness of yourself. It’s about self improvement while still respecting and loving who you currently are. Self love doesn’t happen in a straight line. You can’t just transform in a few days, and it’s never truly mastered. We all have good days and bad days, and it’s important to remember every day to focus on yourself.
External things can’t make you happy (I wish it was that easy, but the boy, the money, or the salad alone can’t make you happy). Being happy with yourself is what matters. I once read a quote that said “Your circumstances don’t change, it’s the way you perceive them that changes” or something along those lines. That’s so freaking true. Your mindset has the power to change your day, you week, and your life.
Not that long ago I started doing a few things to really focus on me and loving myself. The first thing I did was started seeing a therapist. This was what really inspired me to change. I knew I needed someone to talk to and I didnt want to keep bothering my mom (love you mom) so I found a therapist in my college town away from home. She has literally changed my life! My therapist is so insightful, and we start every appointment by talking about things I am proud of. It is so important to be proud of yourself for everything you do, big and small. I visit her every two weeks, and I always leave feeling so much better than when I came. She has taught me mindfulness techniques and helped me learn how to love myself. Ladies, don’t be embarrassed to see a therapist! I am proud that I am making a difference and spending time focusing on myself, and you should be to.
The second thing I started doing way saying positive affirmations (usually in my head because I have a roommate and thin walls in the sorority house). I do these while brushing my teeth, walking to class, at yoga, or any chance I get. I tell myself “I am worthy of love, prosperity, and happiness” and that “I am freaking amazing,” along with whatever else I think I need that day. If I have a test coming up, I tell myself “I am smart and hardworking” and if I am feeling lonely I tell myself “my friendships are abundant and I am loved.” This is an amazing way to rewire your brain. Yes, I know it feels weird at first, but soon it will feel natural and amazing.
I also try and show up for the next level of myself. My friends make fun of me because I am constantly talking about “next level Gracie” but she is a #girlboss. When making decisions, I ask myself “what would next level Gracie do?” She gets healthy meals, works on homework instead of watching netflix, and has her bellybutton pierced (so I just had mine done). This is a way I see myself “leveling up” in life, just like in a video game.
I am also recently obsessed with journaling. I got this super cute journal from target and I write in in pretty much every day (and many days 2 or 3 times a day). I keep lists of what I am grateful for, or whats I am good at, or friends and family who love me. I also practice the law of attraction by scripting in my journal (watch out for some articles on the law of attraction by me soon), or I write about my day in hopes of seeing what is making me sad, stressed, or anxious. This is so therapeutic and such a great way to really discover more about yourself and learn to love yourself. I find myself wanting to journal all the time now. Whenever I feel sad or anxious I reach for my journal (not social media or chocolate) which is a SUPER healthy and strong habit I am so glad I got into, and if you take nothing else from this article… get a cute journal and write down your feelings!
I also try to limit self deprecating jokes, or even self deprecating sayings. I never say “sorry i’m dumb” or “wow I can’t do this” becuase that becomes my reality. I say instead “I made a mistake” or “I’ll get this soon.” This goes hand in hand with my final thought… forgiving myself. When I accidentally sleep though my pilates class, or spill coffee on my super cute grey sweatshirt, or say something I didn’t mean to, I tell myself “its okay, this happens and I am learning from it.” Forgiving and accepting yourself will help create a sturdy base for yourself love to grow. Know that it’s okay not to be perfect.. Its normal and real. You aren’t perfect, but you are still amazing and strong.
There are so many other ways to practice self love. Some other things I do are dance in the mirror to old Taylor Swift, Meditite, go to Yoga and Pilates and Zumba classes, spend time with friends, and yes… do a face mask. These little things are ways that I show up for myself and show respect for myself. It’s all in the mindset. So are you ready to change your mindset? I know it’s scary and hard, but it’s so worth it, and you are so worth it. Please never forget that.
XOXO,
Gracie